I was 5 years old when my sister was born. She’s totally blind and has cerebral palsy which causes her to walk with a limp, a speech impediment and other general day to day difficulties. As I was growing up she had plenty of health difficulties and as my Dad always worked and we had no other family, I was passed around family friends and had no real stability.
My sister is now 26 and I 31. I have remained her secondary carer (after my Mum) my entire life. She is incredibly bright, but with a dual disability she unfortunately has a lot of hurdles. She is unemployable and lives at home with my Mum as sheltered accommodation seems to be for those with either severe cognitive impairments, or mild physical difficulties. There seems to be nothing around for those who are bright but have quite severe physical disabilities.
4 years ago, 2 days after I discovered I was pregnant with my first child, my Dad was diagnosed with leukaemia. In the last 4 years he has gone into remission 4 times and relapsed 3 he has now been in remission since December 2017. In April 2018, he had a stroke. He now walks with a limp and is stiff down his left side along with lots of other health complications post cancer/chemo/stroke.
My Mum cares for them both most days and I help where I can/am needed.
My son is 3 years old and my fiance- although sometimes supportive, has quite severe mental health issues.
My Mum’s Dad lives in France. Mum lost her Mum last year and so tries to visit him every now and again as he is alone out there. When she goes, it is up to me to care for my son, partner, sister and Dad. Each time it leaves me so anxious and panicked and I end up getting ill because it’s so intense.
Each day i find myself getting more anxious to the point of panic attacks thinking of a time my Mum is no longer here (shes 62) and all the caring responsibility falls to me
My life would be over. Just the caring itself is 3 jobs at least. I dont feel able to talk to my Mum about this as I dont want to add to her stress but I feel like I am drowning and there is genuinely no way out. I talked to a family friend about my fears and she said she had thought about it herself and didn’t know what to say.
My sister has NEADS ( stress seizures) and relies on my Mum and I so much, I couldn’t shove her in any random home and it wouldnt be suitable for her. At the same time, my dad is a very proud and stubborn man who now needs a lot of support.
I envy non-carers so much. It must be so nice to feel like you can picture your life with no boundaries. Go wherever you want and be whoever you want to be.