I’m 36 and have 2 children and a carer for my 33yr old sister who is profoundly deaf and also has ASD.
To say my upbringing was easy would be a lie especially with her spending so much time changing schools as they could no longer cater for her needs.
Two years ago our world was broken apart when my mother suddenly passed away from a brain haemorrhage and the relationship I had with my sister dramatically changed and I had to step into the role of MUM whilst parenting a 5yr old and a 8 month baby.
Unfortunately my Dad is an incredibly poorly man with so many health conditions and imminent surgery looming which has been cancelled so many time due to the pandemic.
My sister lives with my Dad and has spent the past 10 months shielding with him which was incredibly challenging especially making her realise the limitations she can undertake whilst shielding with him.
My sister is an incredibly caring woman and spoils my children rotten but has no concept of money as well as responsibilities.
She has been in a relationship for the past 6 years and works part time for the NHS as an administrative assistant and previously worked 11 years in retail where she was treated horrifically.
For years I wished there was siblings in a similar position to me and the Surrey YC was created. By that time I was too old to join.
I hope there are siblings out there that can sympathise with me as I’ve spent a long time in therapy trying to find answers to questions regarding my sister.
It is time your sister stopped relying on you so much.
If she is in a relationship and can work for the NHS, then she isn’t totally helpless, but perhaps mum always did too much for her, and expects you to do the same?
However, you have your own family and your own children to care for.
What support is dad getting from health or Social Services?
Is he claiming Attendance Allowance?
Does he live in his own house, or is it rented?
If it’s a council house, then when dad moves out, the council may give your sister notice to leave, she will have no right to stay there!
I’m not saying this to frighten you, but you don’t want sister pleading to move in with you.
You have a RIGHT not to care.
Welcome to our forum, I’m not sure if you are aware but we are currently running a series of online weekly meet ups for carers to get together and chat informally. People say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here: https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/get-support/online-meetups