@Chris_22081 Hi Chris, thank you for your reply, and I really appreciate how much time it must have taken to write such a detailed answer. I am so grateful for the support.
I definitely relate to never being able to relax, being ‘on call’ all day and night, which I feel is affecting my health now.
I think the walk and talk group you suggested sounds right up my street, I think knowing I’d be meeting people in similar situations would be great, and having people to talk to would make a huge difference. When I’ve tried walking on my own recently, all I do is worry about things back at home, and so I don’t manage to enjoy the escapism of being away from the house, so having company sounds like the perfect solution to that.
A telephone befriender also sounds great, as I’d be able to take the call at home, I have found my world has gotten a lot smaller since I stopped being able to attend my in-person support group, so this sounds like a great help, thank you for suggesting this, as well as the walk and talk group.
I can really relate to losing friends after becoming a carer, you described my experiences exactly with friends not being able to understand why you can’t go to the pub or for a meal anymore, I can’t leave my dad because he’s more likely to go wandering in the evenings. Also, so many friends have not understood the seriousness of my situation at all, and see me not meeting them as me not wanting to make an effort. In the end, even though I’m lonely now, I am glad to not have those people in my life anymore.
It’s really helpful to hear about the services you’ve accessed, the walk and talk, I think this is something I am definitely going to look into locally, as I enjoy being outside a lot, it sounds nice to get out of the house while also chatting to people in similar situations, this actually sounds preferable to the more traditional sit-down support groups I’ve attended in the past, so thank you for suggesting it.
I am going to do some research into trackers as this sounds like the best solution, especially sewing into clothes, as my father won’t take anything else with him (like a bag) when he goes wandering. It would give me so much peace of mind to be able to go and directly find him, rather than having to walk up and down local roads hoping for the best.
Thank you for suggesting a Carers assessment, this is something I’m going to request from the GP as it’s been suggested by quite a few of you in the forum, I think that because my situation is changing so quickly and my dad’s needs are increasing all the time, I really need to make an effort to let them know how overwhelmed I am and how caring alone is affecting my mental and physical health.
It’s really heartening to hear you talk about you discovering your love of writing, I’m so glad you’ve found something that you can do for yourself and that you enjoy so much, and it’s my hope that in time I will discover something like this for myself too!
Thank you for all your suggestions and sharing so much with me, it’s comforting to hear from other carers and the suggestions are so valuable coming from people who are living in similar situations to me, thank you again.
As you say it was nice not to have to explain, but to just be able to voice concerns or ‘talk normally’. We usually have a coffee after the walk and recently just three of us chatted away in a different coffee shop and found the atmosphere better than where we usually stopped and opened up much more. I discovered that one of the others is in a similar situation to me financially and without disclosing too much personal info, we shared experiences. A great help!
