Reply to breezy re my post hitting the wall

thank you for your suggests re contacting other places like SILVER LINE etc

and for your advice

sometimes you need others to let you know just how much of a huge shock it is - to suddenly lose your only confidante and the home is quiet and empty --it truly is a huge shock – and boy oh boy I wouldn’t want to be in the place ever again

Mum is not yet in her final care home, so things are still not finalaised…that also is very disruptic and stressful

Perhaps it was better that I did not know how hard it was gong to be!!

I am doing lots of self care deep breathing resting etc, I have slowed down so much and am not yet motivated in any way, way too soon --need time to process all of this. thanks again ms Anne

I hope those leads will be helpful to you as well as this forum.

You are in a transition into a new and different phase in your life.
It is a quantum leap for you and baby steps are key.

Sometimes you are destined to be dropped in at the deep end.

Everything will get sorted out, your mum will get settled into her residential place and calm down and you will have your routine of visits and precious times together to cherish.

Each task, each stage is a step towards achieving this goal of your mum being settled into her home and your new routine established. When it is frustrating, difficult or emotional along the way, remember it is only temporary and you will get there. Then think of what you achieved.

Keep on with the good work for yourself.
If you have sleepless or restless nights try a heavy wool blanket or travel blanket or two try them on top of your bedding or a heavy coat if you don’t have them, it’s like the weighted blanket effect.

I hope it all goes smoothly and not as bad as you might be fearing.
The thought of a task is often worse than the actual doing of it, there are exceptions though.

Keep being kind to yourself.

Don’t forget to phone the Carers UK helpline for more advice.

Carers UK information and support
Our telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (