Hi, I Am A 58 Year Old Male, My Father Passed Away Suddenly in Lancaster Royal infirmary in May 2017 from Sepsis and Heart Failure while we were on Holiday in Yorkshire, Since then I have been Living with my Mother who is now 89 and has recently been diagnosed with Moderate to Severe Dementia, She has been getting steadily worse in the last few weeks and combative towards Myself, I am her Full Time Carer on Carers Allowance and I am trying to Cope with Day to Day Life, I Have Very Little Time To Myself and I Am Finding It very Challenging to cope with, Every Question She asks and I Answer is met with Why, I feel as though I shall have a Mental Breakdown, Any Help is Grateful, What can i Do?
Welcome aboard, Guy.
The difficult thing about dementia is that it creeps up on you and suddenly you find yourself in a situation you can’t cope with. Part of you wonders how you got there, the rest of you wonders how you’re going to cope. What most people don’t do is think about getting outside help. But without outside help you won’t cope. At some point you’ll reach the stage where you just can’t do it any more.
I strongly suggest you contact your local social services. But first, you should probably contact the CUK Helpline. They can advise you on your rights and even what to say when asking for help. The helpline is open from Monday to Friday between 9am and 6pm - 0808 808 7777. Or you can get in touch by email: advice@carersuk.org
Take care of yourself!
Mum is now paying the price for living longer than average, and her needs will now increase rapidly until she dies.
A friend cared for his mum until she died at 104. By that time, he was too old to realise any of his dreams.
Don’t fall into the trap of thinking “when mum doesn’nt need me any more I can…”
I was widowed before my mum died, all our dreams lost forever.
HI Guy,
welcome to the forum. I agree with Charles’ advice. You definitely need support.
Here is some information on getting support for your Mum Needs assessment | Carers UK
and for yourself Carer's assessment | Carers UK
Melly1