My challenge is not Social Care (care workers) it is the shambles that purports to be a Health Service. Lots of hard working people but with zero leadership. We were referred by our GP for palliative support. It was rejected because we did not meet the Palliative criteria, apparently there a specific way of dying, otherwise you are on your own.
Best regards
Norman Phillips
That is absolutely jaw-droppingly awful… how can anyone not meet the criteria for palliative care…?? It beggars belief. I’m so sorry you are left to cope alone. I do hope you can find support from somewhere.
Our problem was not if we could get support it was who was going to provide, Palliative care or Hospital at Home.
After I wrote to every NHS Director whose dept had some level of responsibility, we did get support from Hospital at Home Service. They are having an MDT on Wednesday to try and thrash out roles and responsibilities in terms of Ros’ care. You would have thought that would have happened before she was sent home. It is typical of hospital discharge, get the person out safe or not
Best regards
Norman
“To love and be loved unconditionally is to truly see the face of God”
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Oh Norman.
Many people have posted on here about Unsafe Discharges from hospital. A neighbour had four such Unsafe discharges and along the lane we got to the point of running a sweepstake as to how long it would be before an ambulance arrived to take him back to hospital. (1) 48 hours; (2) 36 hours (3) 24 hours (4) 48 hours… Ludicrous. his wife has serious mobility issues and could not do anything to help him. They have no downstairs bathroom so had a commode provided. Some ‘Carers’ refused to help him wash or used a couple of wet wipes instead of flannel and hot water. He was incontinent and kept falling out of bed in the night! It was only resolved when she fell and had to spend a week in hospital and he was THEN transferred to a Care Home temporarily! They just want to get beds empty asap without thought of how family can cope.
I feel for you and hope you can get some progress soon.
@norman2511 Please be aware that although I am editing out your surname and mobile number when you post via email; it is still being circulated in forum summaries to all the people whoever signed up to the forum …
What do I need to do to stay safe?
Best regards
Norman
“To love and be loved unconditionally is to truly see the face of God”
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Edited by Mod
Either turn off or delete your email signature when replying by email to posts on the forum or log on to the forum directly and post a reply that way instead.,
Dear Norman
Reading your posts your unconditional love for Ros shines through as you quote -
“To love and be loved unconditionally is to truly see the face of God”
God bless you both
Ula 
I have been campaigning locally to make the Standard “Safe for discharge” not “medically fit discharge” The latter modus operandi equates to chuck them out of the plane and hopefully someone will provide a parachute. This leads to revolving door admissions. An extreme example was my Wife was sent home. She was clearly not well. Nothing I said made any difference. Within 5hrs of being home, Ros was readmitted with Sepsis and spent 9 further days in hospital.
To me a “Safe for discharge” standard means the following has been done and is in place.
My caree has a different slant on invisibility. “Put me in my wheelchair and I become invisible,” she says. We see what she means when I manoeuvre her through the shopping mall. It is surprising how many people walk nonchalantly right in front of us. I slow down to get through a busy doorway and people push past us from behind.
Fortunately some people are helpful; they hold open doors for us, pull their kids out of the way, etc.
The nurse that Chris relates to may well be very knowledgeable on medical matters, but needs to work on relating to people on a personal level, especially if she has ambition to climb the career ladder. A ward sister must not only deal with relatives and visitors but sometimes pass on unhappy information. I think the best we can do in our dealings with such people is hope that in time they will learn.
Norman, I think you have absolutely hit the nail on the head. Whilst hospitals can be fined for “unsafe discharges” when a patient is readmitted within a certain period (I think a month, but stand to be corrected) all the ward sister is concerned about is the idea of being “medically fit”. There’s an enormous gap in between, made worse by the pressures of Covid.
However, the Ward Sister herself is being bullied too. They were given impossible targets for elderly patients like mum, housebound for almost 30 years, nearing the end of her life. The idea that they could make someone “better” is completely inappropriate.
Oh @Denis_1610 - this nurse has reach the depths of her career ladder!! She is at an age where progression probably is not an option and her interpersonal skills seem t be stuck in the 1960’s where you had to doff your cap at ‘Sister’… She still hangs on to the title even in the GP practice!
Interestingly, I found the following on a Nursing Blog website…
“Today, while the term is not universally used in all healthcare settings or regions, its historical significance continues to hold relevance, emphasizing the dedication, empathy, and familial bonds that nurses forge with their patients and colleagues.”
Perhaps I need to explain “empathy” to her as that is something DEFINTELY missing from her world.
I am braced and ready for her reaction. She told G that he was seven days early for his proatate cancer injection a few months back. We were told it should be every three months and SHE interprets that as “Quarterly” - therefore every 13 weeks… not 12 weeks!! She complained about the cost of the medication. What the heck has that got to do with her? I was on the verge of pointing out that my routine medication costs around £1,300 a month and I am sure that would have given her palpitations - however for years it has kept me able to work and pay taxes and not be a burden on the State. Hmm - rather like G having the jabs to keep his cancer under control so he doesn’t need hospitalisation (where just occupying a bed costs £550 per day without ANY treatment)… Perhaps I might have that up my sleeve as well. Be interesting to see if she reacts to it.
On this morning’s BBC Breakfast Show, Emily promoted the challenges facing us.
The one that set me off, was the lady who was looking after her husband. They were supported by CHC. NHS/CHC decided to remove their help because the gentleman no longer met their national criteria.
It is time to fight back. In my own little way I am forcing the NHS to face up to their responsibilities and understand they benefit they accrue from the WORK I do.
For over a week I have
a) refused to be the communication channel either within the NHS or between the NHS and other partners.
b) I am refusing to carry out nursing tasks such as changing dressings. I will give meds.
Even these two actions is impacting the local service. By not being their communication channel, they have to talk to each other.
In terms of the dressings, they are sending in resource 3 times a day instead of weekly.
I don’t like doing this, but if the NHS does not feel the consequence of failing to support us, they will go on as they do.
I think all unpaid carers should put the NHS of 7 days notice. We will provide the care we will not be a medical comms channel nor do nursing tasks.
The couple on the tele this morning set me off, I could not stop the tears. How dare they treat anyone like that.
Thans for your reply, Chris. Career progression is possible at any age for someone that has the “fight” in them. I was drummed out of a job under a cloud in my early 60s, but fought back and in due course achieved a job with much higher responsibility and nearly twice the net income. This nurse sounds like many I have met in various employments - approaching retirement and set in their ways, happy to just coast along the way they have for years.
This may have been passed on by word of mouth, expressing the interval rather loosely. What did the medical papers say? The NHS often uses strange fractions on its official documents, thus “quarterly” can be expressed as “1/4” or “13/52”. The nurse was possibly just following procedure rather than making a decision. (She would have done well in the civil service or the armed forces.)
Next time an appointment is rejected, you could say something like, “An unfulfilled appointment costs the patient, approximately, £160.” (A slight twist on a familiar message, perhaps?)
No, this nurse is not going to change. Live in the hope that before too long she will give way to someone younger with more initiative and ambition.
Happy New Year, anyway!
My earlier post gave just one aspect of invisibility. I need to say that in some circumstances, having a caree in a wheelchair can be a distinct advantage.
Earlier this week we “hit the town” and arranged to meet friends in one of London’s top hotels, where we had cocktails and afternoon tea…We felt that we were getting the “extra mile” by the way that the staff went out of their way to be helpful, in assisting my caree in lifts to get to the various levels, etc. The restaurant staff were marvellous. We even had car parking at a discounted rate because of my caree’s possession of a Blue Badge. It can work to our advantage. I thought I should mention this to put the score straight.
I suppose some NHS staff see people in wheelchairs so frequently that to them it is just part of a day’s work.
Hi Denis
I’ve checked on MacMillan and Medcines.org.uk websites and both state the injection is given every TWELVE weeks so she was wrong when she shouted at us that G was a week early and it should have been 13 weeks. We were not given the Patient Leaflet after the injection but have found a copy online (from the manufacturer’s website) and that states it should be given every twelve weeks… No mention of quarterly or any other period.
She was also wrong when she stated no letters had been received about his cancer from a local hospital - then when I pressed, she found them. Again about the note from my GP last week. I cannot have confidence in someone who is wrong about so many things in a clinical environment and yet never apologises or acknowledges that she was incorrect.
Graham is a medic and I managed our private medical practice so we are both used to medical abbreviations and ‘jargon’ - something else she seems to resent … people who understand things instead of having to bw to her ‘knowledge’…
Thanks for your reply, Chris. I suggested that the nurse was following procedure, not making a decision. I was wrong - quite the opposite. And the decision - nay, various decisions, were wrong. She should have checked the official facts.
To me, this would warrant a complaint to the practice manager.
Complaint was delivered by hand this morning! I made a point of her repeated questioning why I am registered with that Practice and not another…