New member

Hi all, in our house we don’t have one carer but three. Three disabled persons, we call it the triangle as we care for each other.
My wife has been my carer for a long time, long before she became disabled herself, she has now been in a wheelchair for five years. I can still get about a bit using my crutches, but need to use a scooter when out and about.
I make all the meals, help my wife shower and dry, and clean her after she uses the toilet. Although things are hard for her she tries to help me when she can.
Our daughter helps with housework and looks after our dogs.
For the benefit side of it, I am my daughter’s carer, she is my wife’s carer, and my wife is my carer.
It can be really hard for us at times, I look after my wife’s and myself medication, lately that became a problem as I was mixing up whose were what, simple due to always having a lot of pain and being on painkillers all the time. Now the chemists makes up our medication into blister packs and I can then give and take them at the right time.
Simple things like shopping is a hit or miss thing, as I have to be able to drive to the shops if I am able to. Take today, my daughter and myself managed to get out to one shop, after which I was too sore to go to the other shops, so will hopefully do so tomorrow.
We struggle but manage on the whole. One day a week, on a Friday we look after two of our grandchildren, picking up the youngest who is three from nursery at 12.30 then at 3.00 out to pick up the next who is six from school. Then it is look after them till their parents come home. By the time we get home normally about 10 or 11 at night it’s straight to bed after helping my wife to shower dry sort out dressings for her wound sites, it’s more or less fall into bed myself.
Yes things can be hard but we get on and do what we can. Would we change? never we will continue as is for as long as we can. Thanks to all who take the time to read my moans.

Hello Alan and welcome to the forum.

May I suggest that you change your username (for privacy/safety reasons) from your email to something less identifiable?.

Instructions for doing this can be found here

Have you requested a needs assessment or not? Everyone is allowed to ask for support.

Wow! That is truly amazing!!! All the caring you do for yourself, your wife and grandchildren. You might want to consider online shopping to make life easier. It is very easy to do. Then you could have your shopping delivered to your door.
But well done to you and your family for looking after eachother. :slight_smile:

Whilst I understand your desire to be independent, I can’t see that it is sustainable long term. Some outside support, even just a cleaner and someone to help with meal preparations and bathing, would take so much pressure off all of you. There is no shame in saying that you could do with some help.

Have done thanks.