@Jane_22031234567
Yes loss of logic is very much like the vascular dementia my Dad had. No A to B to C and random Zs cropping up in his logic
Yes they tend to mask they REAL symptoms and feelings because dad was a very proud man, who was embarrassed and tried to look better than he was. Even with a diagnosis or semi diagnosis he still made himself appear better than he was. Can you push for a psychiatric evaluation or psychologist/neurologist assessment whilst in hospital?
Hospital- as you suspect, in my opinion, do the best they can to transactionally achieve a target-goal of health - whether that’s ensuring wounds are stable, first bowel movements post surgery or walking the length of a corridor or stairs… The target is part of their ‘fulfillment’ targets, and to clear beds for the next patient…
With or without a dementia diagnosis as per @selinakylie and your own worries about nighttime cover/monitoring, I agree that it’s better to say that she Doesn’t have enough care, that you’re not involved or must step back so that your MIL can get more support. If you are part of the equation people will ‘assume’ no nighttime cover is needed or that she is ok at home…which from what you say is clearly not the case now beause things have advanced.
So my thoughts I hope you can get a cognitive ability diagnosis done for her, and that by ‘stepping back’ from saying you are her carers you can enable her to have more support with other carers or to look at care-home support if that’s an option you
Trust your instincts, which from my reading seem on-point! You can’t be there 24/7 but she may get more care if others feel that you aren’t her full time support AND esp if she has COVID.
Hope that helps a bit