Pet bereavement

I am caring for my husband Keith. He had a stroke in 2013 physically has left side weakness has a lot of cognitive issues. His personality has changed dramatically and its difficult to come to terms with. He has now become incontinent which is embarassing for him not for me. He is also now showing signs of demensia. He is very quick to blame me or everyone else when something does not go his way i suppose this is his frustration. I cop an awful lot. I take it but its hard as i have noone i can talk to. I live in a very rural part of Northumberland. I am also trying to cope with the loss of my very special dog Benny who crossed the Rainbow Bridge on March 12th. He was my whole life he was my little boy and I miss him so much. I am feeling lost and lonely. Do not want to burden my husband at all. Keith also suffers mood swings. Hope I am not boring anyone. Thanks. Karen

Hi Karen. It is devastating to lose an animal that is loved and extra hard when it appears that people who don’t have pets just don’t understand. They are members of our family. The Blue Cross has a helpline that you can ring to talk to someone 0800 096 6606. It may help just to talk to someone who is there for the purpose.


Welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear about your situation, it is hard to be a carer and feel isolated, but I think it is all too common.

I completely understand how much you must be missing your lovely dog. When things were particularly awful with my Mum and Dad, taking out my lovely Jessie for a walk was a total tonic. I dread the day when she will no longer be with us. They are part of our families and to the miss and grieve for them is totally normal.

When the time is right could you get another dog? In the meantime, are there any kennels near you? Our local rescue centre is always looking for volunteer dog walkers. Could be a nice way to meet like minded people? Do you get any help with your husband to enable you to get out and do your own thing at all?

Sorry about your situation. Please keep posting.
I too understand about a beloved pet. My family so loved our dog, who passed many years ago, that we included his photo on my recently passed husband’s funeral order of service. Hubby was the one who walked him regardless of weather. I was fairweather walker!

Thank you everyone for your kindness and understanding. I have a four year old chihuahua called Woody. I l ove him too and i am so glad i have him. I cry for Benny every day. My husband has had a bad day today. I find it hard like we all do but we keep going but its so nice to have people like you to talk to. Thank you everyone