Paid Carers Accusing Mum of Violent Behaviour

That’s good news, Stephen.

The other one may well be better if paired up with someone else.

Hope you got some sleep, it was SO hot last night, wasn’t it?


I can’t think of anything worse that being hurried at commode times.
Imagine having to time a poo for their 15 minute slots when they’re not even on time! You’d end up either busting or desperately constipated. It’s a really serious matter that the carers should understand and respect.
Bad enough just taking a flight to Greece, having to plan what you drink and ….!

I want to thank you, Rosemary, for posting this. It gave me the strength to have a good talk with one of the supervisors at the agency we use for part of my brother’s care needs. They have been sending weekly timetables, telling him what time they were coming, and on one of the days had arrived 50 minutes late, only stayed for 25 minutes, wrote down they’d been there for 35 minutes, but are paid for an hour time slot. His skin condition is appalling in the places he cannot reach himself, and this was the whole point of getting people in to assist me with this one task I could no longer do for him.

These forums have been my life safer and strength since I only found them this week. You get so downtrodden and tired being a carer.

How did things go this morning, Stephen?

Do you think the one who took you into her confidence about the “secret” fact she was quitting was a little ploy to get a leaving present off you/Mum?

In the hospital unit where my brother was, where they used a Stand Aid to get him to the loo, only one person needed to do this, but it very much depends on the individual’s needs.

We have a rotation of around, maybe 12 carers, so often go a week at a time without seeing one

The one half of the terrible duo is a sheep and just follows the lead of whatever carer she is paired with. The strange thing is, Mum seems to really like the Carer who is leaving. Despite the fact she is the only carer to shout at Mum on two occasions and upset her.

Lets just say, Mum might miss her, but I’ll be glad to see the back of her. Leaving pressie, not going to happen, just relief that she won’t bring her mood swings into our house anymore…

Marian, I went through a steep learning curve, as most do, when I came back to live with mum. Still learning how medical negligence lawsuits work 14 months after she died. I’m pleased you found my post helpful. Usually somebody will have something to offer here. Collectively we’ve encountered a lot, and that’s the beauty of this site.

I wasn’t too interested in the careplan records until mum got invoiced for care she hadn’t received. Then I put my quality assurance hat on and I was surprised at what I saw!

The forums have dragged me back on several occasions, it’s so important to meet people who are going through the same ordeal that you are facing, exchange views and experiences.
Like today I’ve been told my Mum has hit another carer on the hand after the cold wipe hit Mums bottom. My favourite carer laughed about it, it was more of a don’t do that than a hit.
While the famous duo accused Mum of hitting them, another difference between Good and Useless carers…

Maybe remind the carers that the wipe is cold, and to tell mum that it will be cold just before they use it?

They always do BB, seeing poor Mum in a forced standing position is painful to watch…Mum always shouts “be careful”.

The only time I’ve witnessed Mum being aggressive was in late 2017 when Mum thought she was coming home with me on Sunday when she was actually being released on Monday. She tried to follow me out of the hospital ward and she “swatted” at a Nurse. I instantly told Mum that she’s never to do that again.

So one carer is claiming Mum violently hit her on the top of her head, while another carer just laughed and accepted a get your hands of me, as part of the job.

I think the major problem is, if this person keeps claiming Mum is violent, which she isn’t, will it stick?