Hi,
I’m not quite sure where to post this, because primarily it pertains to what must be a familiar story of older people with complex needs refusing care. However, this is affecting my husband who has AS.
My husband is an only child. He has always had a rather difficult relationship with his mother and an even more distant relationship with his step-father, whom he never forgave for marrying his mother within a year of his father’s death (over 40 years ago).
His mother is about to be discharged from hospital after being held in hospital for assessment under DoLS. His mother is barely mobile and was becoming incontinent at night and confused. His stepfather is almost immobile due to arthritis in his legs and persistent sores. The couple live in a house that is isolated and they can no longer access toilet or bathing facilities upstairs.
Basically, my husband has moved in temporarily to look after the couple. However, it is becoming obvious that their needs are too complex for my husband (or anyone on his/her own) to manage. My husband’s mother insists they want no-one but my husband to look after them.
I am a bit out of the picture because I am caring for our son. However, my husband wants to know if, when his mother is discharged, he can simply refuse to deliver any care and move back into his lodgings. He is very distressed and phones the hospital several times a day to state that he cannot look after the couple.
I am posting here because I know this must be a familiar situation, but I want to know what the implications could be. Would the copule be left with no care or would they be forced to accept some care from social services?