Not new just a change of caree


You won’t remember me as it is a while since I have been on here and back then it was my partner’s mum I was caring for. Unfortunately, she passed away 2 and a half years ago and since then I have become my partner’s carer.

I am struggling at the moment at work to get compressed hours working 5 days in 4.5 so I can take care of myself instead of everybody else. I am almost beside myself as my Manager is not a man manager, she is a process manager and doesn’t understand what the procedures are for flexible “compressed” hours and how they help me as a person, to give me time before the weekend starts. I have already been doing this for 12 months. I am so low with it at the moment she needs all evidence possible to make up her mind.

She doesn’t want to upset anyone etc… I am caring for the man I love, so I am supporting at work and caring at home and I need a few hours to myself, to see counselors or Drs if need.

I am sorry to waffle, my depression and social anxieties are building so high and she isn’t helping me xx :open_mouth: :confused: :confused: :confused: :frowning: :frowning:

Have you had a needs assessment or not? This is a useful guide to needs assessments and what to expect. A social worker from the council will come out to do the assessment with you. How a local council care needs assessment works | MoneyHelper
Have a list of things to discuss etc with the social worker. Make a list of questions as well and prepare well.

I am sorry to read this and it is outside my experience, but could ACAS be of any help? I know it is your right to be treated compassionately as a carer. Who does this manager not want to upset - other colleagues? I do hope you can get help on how to persuade her, perhaps from others here - your request seems so reasonable.

Can I ask what help your partner needs, and why?

As a carer you employer has a duty to make reasonable adjustments as you are “disabled by association”.
ACAS would be able to tell you more.