Noob alert

New to Carers Connect
1

Hi all,

I’ve currently started to care for my mother of 67 years of age who has multiple organ failure and several comorbidities.

She went into hospital on 15th December suffering from Severe Diabetic Ketosis and Acute Kidney failure. She was not supposed to survive and we were told she would die within a few hours.

She pulled through.

However she followed that with a Stroke on the 29th December which took her speech, the use of her right side, blindness in both right sides of eyes, swallowing difficulties and learning disabilities.

I now work full time, am a single mum of 3 and give mum her food, medication and ensure she is stable.

I have no idea what the next move is or what I am entitled to or where to find the best information quickly and with ease.

The onslaught of stress over the last few weeks has kicked off my depression and to be honest I don’t want to fail my mother.

I’m so happy to have her home and have worked hard to create an environment for her to thrive in, though her recent visit to hospital has given me a confidence blow as I no longer feel adequate to care for her despite how hard I am working to get her back. Apparently the medications she was offered were counteracting each other which caused her diabetes levels to plummet.

I only want the best for my mum. And it makes her so happy when she’s home and surround by all of us.

If anyone has any idea of where I can find some good information as to what to do next I would love to know.

Look forward to speaking with you all

Vicki

2

Hi Vicki,

This is a very sad situation. I nearly had a breakdown, when I was a multiple carer, so I know how torn you feel.
Counselling helped me to set my priorities.
In my case, my son with learning difficulties had to come first over mum, she could speak up for herself, he couldn’t.

In your situation, your children have to come first. They deserve a happy childhood and a fit, healthy and happy mum.
You cannot care for mum and do this too.

You need to change from being a care provider to a sort of supervisor/manager, making sure mum gets what she needs, with the hands on care provided by someone else.
Any minute now, I expect that the hospital will start bullying you so that they get their bed back.

Given all mum’s health issues, has anyone mentioned NHS Continuing Healthcare to you?
Has mum had a checklist CHC assessment or a full assessment?

3

Hello and welcome!

Have you asked for a needs assessment or not? This is the first step to getting more help for her. Also find out about counselling sessions. Ask your general practitioner if they can recommend someone.

4

HI Victoria,
Your Mum sounds determined to survive the odds.

Is she home with you now or still in hospital?

Has she been assessed for Continuing Health Care funding (CHC)?

If not, there is info here https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support-and-advice/all-about-caring/chc-coughlan-grogan-judgements-nhs-contuing-healthcare-nhs-fnc-hospital-discharges-all-under-this-one-thread-35998

Melly1