Hi all, I’m new to this forum… Not really new to caring, as such…I’ve been a Paramedic for 13yrs and am mum of two but a year and a half ago, I moved my 98yr old Grandma to live near to us, so I could care for her. She has always been remarkably fit and well for her years but the pandemic had a very negative effect on her and she has declined a lot physically, mentally and emotionally. She has recently turned 100 and although still remarkable, is showing the signs of dementia…She’s at that difficult stage where she is aware she is forgetful and she hates it. She’s forgetting to eat and no longer feels hungry or thirsty…She gets very muddled with days/dates/names and we find things in all manor of strange places in her flat; yoghurts in the microwave, quiche in the cutlery drawer, dirty dishes in the tins cupboard… I’m beginning to panic a little about this next chapter; I work full time and have my 2 kids to care for too. My Husband is very supportive and my family are too-my Grandma’s 3 children, including my Dad-but they’re in Australia, Devon and ‘no fixed abode’, so aren’t very well placed for practical help…Anyway…any hints, tips, support you can give would be greatly appreciated. :slight_smile:

The more help you get the longer she can stay home, but you know it’s just a matter of time before she needs a team of people and residential care.
Is she receiving Attendance Allowance? Has she had a Needs Assessment from Social Services?
If she has over £23,000 she would be classed as self funding. Fees may be over £1,000 a week! Have a look at local homes, ask your colleagues which are best and worse.

Hi Kate

It’s probably time to make sure she’s known to social services. They can assess her needs and look to maintain her independence for as long as possible, but you need to be very clear about what you’re able and prepared to do, as otherwise they will assume you’ll do it all.

So when you ask for an assessment for her, ask them to carry out a concurrent carers assessment for you. The two MUST be done at the same time, as one will affect the other in terms of solutions.

Hi Kate

Wow 100 and going strong, what a remarkable lady.

As said by Charles and Bowlingbun, it is time to get social services involved.

I know that at such an age the appetite decreases, the body is wearing out and doesn’t need so much food, my mother is 91 and the doctor has explained it to me regarding my mother. It could also be a dementia thing too.
Forgetting to eat and drink will be the dementia and/or at times her body not needing it.

I hope you get an assessment soon, tell them it is a safeguarding matter as she is encroaching on being a danger to herself at times.

If you haven’t been in the dementia forum I would suggest you look in there too.