Hello I’ve just joined carers uk, I’m 45 and live with and partially care for my mother who is 85. I have been doing more and more for her, since I was made redundant last year, I just thought I’d introduce myself.
Welcome to the forum.
Does mum own or rent her home?
Claiming Attendance Allowance?
Hi Alba
Have you got all the benefits entitled to?
If you mother has any disabled benefits you can claim carers allowance and have your NI paid, if you are working at all, that allowance is taxable.
Have you had a care needs assessment done for you mother and a carers needs for you?
If not contact social services to get it done.
It is a learn as you go learning curve and a role reversal as you become the parent and organiser.
You are not alone, you are here.
I supported my mum for many years. It started with doing a bit of shopping while dad was away, as mum had arthritis and didn’t drive. Slowly I did more and more, mum was very resistant to having any other carers, until I had major cancer surgery.
Faced with carers or residential care, she grudgingly accepted carers. Once she got to know them and hear about their families, she enjoyed their female company.
Parents wrongly assume that if they can’t do anything, their children living locally will.
Always remember that you have a right to a life of your own. Even if you live with mum it does NOT mean that you have to do all the cooking, cleaning, shopping etc.
Mum is entitled to disability benefits which are supposed to be spent on things to make life at home easier, like domestic help.
Welcome.