New to Caring

I am new to caring and finding it a very different life to my former busy one when I was a volunteer, L.P.A., did lots if things in my local church and visited housebound parishioners.
Now find myself almost housebound caring for very elderly husband (he is much older than me) both of us are retired.

Although a few people have visited and or kept in touch via emails my main problem is that I don’t really know how to adjust to this new life.

Hi Sue, welcome to the forum. What does your husband need help with?

He needs help with washing himself - can’t bath yet as post op wound still healing and can’t get it wet - bath seat installed helps and I can help him get partial wash.
He can’t stand for long so can’t prepare meals, even couldn’t manage to make a coffee the other day and can’t help out much at all with anything around the house.
Needs me, or someone around 24/7 though he now has an alarm wrist band that helps a lot so I can go out for very short walks knowing he can get help if needed.
Basically I now do everything in our home.

Hello Sue
Being the sole carer can be very isolating, but it doesn’t need to be like this.
Can you just tell us a few basics so we can work out if you are getting all the help you are entitled to?

How old are you both?
Do you own your own home?
Have savings over £23000 each or £46000 jointly

What was hubby in hospital for and when was he discharged? Did he have any reenablement plan?

Has he had a Needs Assessment
Have you had a Carers Assessment?

Sorry if this sounds nosey bit it will help us point you to help, hopefully


When was he discharged from hospital? When I had major surgery, and an incision right across my stomach, I was initially told I couldn’t have a bath or shower for ages afterwards. When I told them I had one or other without fail every night, they then decided it was OK, just sprayed my 12" “scar” with something called Cavillon or similar, and said as long as it was a quick shower, it would be fine…and it was!

Maybe ask the doctor or GP if this was a possibility for your husband?

It is VITAL for you to have some sort of life of your own, ready for the day when you have no option.