New to carers


I have two adult sons who have a disability. Both live at home but both would like to have their own independence.

They would need additional support to help with cooking, washing and other day to day stuff but I have no idea where to start to get this help. Could somebody please give me some advice. They both get PIP.

If they get on OK, the best solution would be for them to live in a flat with carers to look after them.
Don’t hold your breath for the council to do anything, expect to take the lead for yourself.
First, find out abut the amount of Housing Benefit they will be entitled to.

Ask Social Services to do a Needs Assessment and Care Plan for your sons, and a Carers Assessment for you.
Do they already have day services or other support from Social Services?

My son lives in a privately rented flat with carer support. His Housing Benefit covers his rent. No Council Tax to pay, as he is exempt due to “severe mental impairment”.
With their benefits, they should easily be able to manage financially.
Presumably, you are already the DWP Appointee?

Dear Dawn_2106123456
I am sorry to hear about your predicament and I hope you get the advice and support from the carers who are on the forum. Bowling Bun has already given good advice one that even i would follow. I hope the forum proves beneficial to you.
So Welcome to the Forum! You are not alone in your caring role and we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer you the support you need. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK are running online weekly meetups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care For A Cuppa:-Online meetups | Carers UK. There is another social called Share And Learn:-https://www,Share and Learn | Carers UK.
Our Telephone Number is 0808 808 7777 and we are open from Monday to Friday between the hours of 9am-6pm and our Email Address is (
They provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers:-
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Workplace
-Carers Assessments And How To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions.
Please give Carers UK a ring if you need to we are here to help with the issues you need help on.
Best Wishes

I forgot to mention that my son had to leave home for boarding school when he was 16, because of my health. I was determined that he would have everything to the same standard that he would have at home, and have kept to that ever since.
As far as possible he has been involved in choosing everything in his flat, it’s really lovely, the envy of many care staff.
However, I’ve always been very careful with money, so we are used to bargain hunting. He has Laura Ashley curtains both ends of his lounge. I’d bought these for my cottage several years previously, two huge pairs for £20, at the tip!
However, they didn’t really suit the room I’d bought them for, so that sat in my drawer for several years. They were almost new, but the header tape was falling off. An easy fix for me as I make all my own curtains. They fitted his large windows perfectly!
His dining table would cost about £600 new, but we found it for £10, another great tip find! We live in one of the wealthiest towns in the UK, so our tip and charity shops have amazing bargains. His dining chair set cost about £3 from ebay.
He has Stellar saucepans, Worcester Herb china, same as mine at home, but most of his were heavily discounted when the company closed down.
He has my old dining table, but no one ever sees it, as he has an 8ftx4ft train board on it. His Hornby trains give him hours of pleasure.
His bedroom is enormous, so he has a double size bed with pocket sprung mattress.
All funded from his benefits, I saved them up for years so that when he had his own place, he could afford to buy lots of things new, like fridge, washing machine, tumble dryer etc.
It is so much better to move children away from home when there isn’t a crisis, then mum is at hand to explain all their child’s likes and dislikes, and you can have them home regularly, knowing that it’s not all up to you, all the time.

Hello Dawn

They would be entitled to UC as long as they don’t have too much savings.

You apply for this online.

How old are they both?

Also get a needs assessment from your local council social services.

There could be day services that they could go to…referral done by a Social Worker. Some of the them teach lifeskills.

Put their names down on the LA housing list. You do this either online or you can ask for forms.

The help won’t come knocking at your door, you have to find it. And if you don’t succeed at first jump up and down!

Hi all
Thank you for your advice. I am under no impression this is going to be easy. It has been a fight getting them PIP, I had to go to tribunal for them both.

One is 24 and the other is 31. I don’t think they would get on well living together. They are fine at home and generally get on well but I really don’t think it would work if they were together. The older one tends to boss the other as he thinks he is the older brother therefore he is responsible. It’s just part of his condition, he doesn’t always understand, things have to be black and white for him.

I presume I can just go online and look at what housing benefit they can get??? The younger one is on Universal Credit as he has lost his job. But how do I get social services involved? which I presume is the first thing I would need to do to get a needs assessment and carers assessment done?

I am their appointee for PIP but have nothing legal to say I am an appointee. Is this something you would recommend? I have been thinking of trying to put something in place regarding their finances etc… as the eldest one gets mislead on line easily and has been a victim of a scam on more than one occasion so I have to keep an eye on his account which I do on his online access but do not legally have anything in place. He has lost £100’s in the past.

Sorry it has take so long to reply I work full-time also, so finding time is difficult

Can I ask what disability they have?

Hi Dawn,

when S went onto UC I had go through the appointee process again even though I was made his DLA then PIP appointee.

Social care do the Needs Assessment, so you would need to contact them and request these were done. Gone are the days when those requiring social care had a social worker who knew them well. These days you contact the duty team in the first instance. A social worker is allocated to carry out a set task e.g. an assessment and then the are unallocated again until something changes or they need a review etc.