New member

Hi, new member here, hoping to find a place to find answers or just someone to listen who can understand.

I work full time including night shifts and look after my wife who has mental health issues, aspergers and has been suicidal for more than 6 months on and off.

I suffer from social anxiety and am quite isolated with noone I feel able to talk to about our issues.

My wife also has a sleep disorder which sees her awake most of the night and wanting to often stay and go through all her issues. It can seem like the same conversation for the 1000th time, with me being unable to sleep and her being unable to stop herself.

I’m feeling so angry with her and guilty about the same and she is feeling completely let down.

Hi Robert,
Welcome to the forum.
I’m not surprised you are struggling and feeling angry if you are so sleep deprived.

Is your wife receiving treatment for her sleep problems?

Could she be persuaded to telephone/ message the Samaritans or other similar services at night or write in a diary or record a vlog etc to give her an outlet but allow you to sleep.

I think she needs to know the current set up is not sustainable and without sleep you will get ill and be unable to care for her.


Hi Robert_22011

As a forum ambassador I wanted to wish you a warm welcome. This forum is a great way for you to connect with fellow carers both to get advice and support and to share your experiences.

In addition to the forum, Carers UK offer a couple of different options for connecting with fellow carers and for getting support from Carers UK.

Carers UK run online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to. I’m sure you’ll find many other carers are in a similar situation to yourself.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:

Care for a Cuppa: Online meetups | Carers UK - the next online meet up is next Monday (Monday 24 Jan), 15.00-16.00 with further sessions shown in that link. This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.

Share and Learn: Share and Learn | Carers UK - these sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.

I suggest you also get in touch with the Carers UK helpline to discussion your situation and what support is available

The Carers UK Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email ( They can help provide support and guidance on:

  • Benefits and financial support
  • Your rights as a carer in the workplace
  • Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
  • Services available to carers and the people you care for
  • How to complain effectively and challenge decisions.