Hello my name is Sharon. I am the main carer for my elderly mother. I decided to join the group today because of my mother’s increased care needs and her sudden lack of mobility and her constant. I’ve never really felt the burden, stress and worry so intensely as I do now and I have never really felt like a carer until now. For many now years now I’ve been shopping, cooking cleaning and arranging and taking her to attending appointments to support my mums needs as she’s been house bound. My attitude was/is she’s my mum I’m her daughter thats what you do. Watching her decrease in health and her constant pain and slowly lose her indepence, has been hard, in the middle of this pandemic she is not allowed to go to the hospital for an x-ray or scan. The GP has prescribed pain killer that are not working and seem to make her worse I as far as she is having the sides effects. But on a positive note as far as I know she is covid clear.
Welcome to the forum. I cared for my mum for a very long time. Looking back, I think I started being a carer at 8 years old! Dad was a government scientist, who worked increasingly away from home, leaving me to do whatever mum needed.
I married and lived in Australia for 3 years, by the time we came back in 1976, mum was virtually housebound. She died about 5 years ago. It’s not just our parents getting older, but us too. I had two brothers, always too busy with work to help, or even ring up most of the time.
Can I ask how old you and mum are, and what you suspect may be wrong with mum. If she needs a scan, then that should be done without delay, the medical profession keep saying that if we need treatment it should be available.
Do you live with mum?
Does she own or rent the property?
Is she claiming Attendance Allowance?
Does she have over £23,000 in savings (the limit for Social Services care).
Hi Sharon, welcome to the forum
Sorry to hear about the situation with your Mum, that sounds hard for you. You’ve come to the right place for support, I’m sure there are many on here who can sympathise with your situation.
It’s important not to feel alone in this. We are hosting weekly online meetups for carers to come together over a cup of tea and have a chat and offer support to each other. There are also online Share and Learn sessions which may be useful for you. Information for all sessions is here:
Do join us if you can, there is one later today on Self Care which you might like to register for.
Hello and welcome
Have you considered a care home for her or not?