Hi, I’m not sure how to start this or if I’m using it right but I’ll give it a shot…
I have been a young Carer for my Dad for years, I’m now close to turning 23 and have now accepted that caring will be a part of my life now. Unfortunately my Dad is a dialysis patient, suffers from MS, he is an amputee and is currently recovering from a spinal fracture. I will forever do all I can to help my Dad, day and night as that’s what he’s done for me for years growing up! However, I juggle this with working full time too.
All I’m looking for is perhaps some advice from anyone that’s maybe been in a similar situation to myself or just anyone that feels they can help.
We do have an outside care company that help which has taken some weight off my shoulders during the daytime however night times can be a struggle, for example it’s now 1.40am and I’m up for work in 4 hours time!
The role of a young carer has always been normal to me and I receive no financial help due to working full time etc. My Dad is my best friend and I would never expect money to care for him (I’m not good with the legalities/entitlements with things like this anyway). We have always been close and we still are but I feel like over the last couple of years, due to his mobility issues and tiredness from dialysis recovery, we can no longer enjoy things that we used to and from my perspective, it has slightly taken a toll on our friendship.
Sorry for the long post, hopefully someone can just offer some words of wisdom as me and my dad are hoping 2019 can be a better year for us both!
Hi Connah, welcome to the forum.
You have a great deal to cope with, long term, it’s just too much. I know that parents always expect children to help, my mum certainly did, but it took counselling when I was 60 to stop me still behaving like an obedient child and doing anything and everything mum wanted!
A bit more information would help us make the best suggestions.
When did dad last have a Needs Assessment from Social Services?
When did they last do a Carers Assessment for you?
Does dad have all the aids and adaptations he needs at home to make life as easy as possible?
Do you have a tumble dryer or washer dryer to help with laundry, and a dishwasher?
How old is dad? As he gets older, everything is going to be much more difficult, and it’s possible he’s entitled to more help than he’s getting at present. Has anyone ever mentioned “NHS Continuing Healthcare” to you? Dad might qualify.
If dad rents his property from the council or housing association, there might be a problem looming in the future for you. When dad dies or moves into residential care, you might be asked to leave the property. Be sure to check asap.
It’s also important that dad sorts out Power of Attorney for you.
Bugle call … overslept !
Hi Connah … welcome to the canteen.
Father / son … one of the strongest bonds there is … for most !
Just a couple of links from me.
BB mentioned CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare.
Main thread :
https://www.carersuk.org/forum/support-and-advice/all-about-caring/chc-coughlan-grogan-judgements-nhs-contuing-healthcare-nhs-fnc-hospital-discharges-all-under-this-one-thread-35998
Benefits / allowances … an online benefits calculator … for a financial m.o.t.
https://www.entitledto.co.uk/
Everything out there currently being claimed … by you and your caree ?
Time to crunch some numbers ?
Other areas … feel free to ask anything , there’s not much we cannot help with … even suggest something that
you may have overlooked ?
Housing … Housing Benefit / Succession ( If a social tenant ) / Council Tax ( Potential discount / disregard ) ???
The forum is yours !