Hi all , new to this but struggling a bit . Mum has carers coming in 4 times a day as she has quite bad dementia and I thought that I would be able to return to work and not worry . But carers are not really managing to get mum showered or even washed , she sometimes has same clothes on for 3days . Quite a few tablets been found that she hasn’t taken and sometimes she misses meals cos she says I have been in and made her something… which I haven’t . She feeds a lot of her own food to a stray cat sometimes things like mince and tatties just on doorstep . I’m tired as I work nights and am still having to go over every day to see she’s ok

It is now time to consider residential care I’m afraid.

Then they’re not doing what they’re being paid to do, (whoever is paying them).

My wife has one carer for 45 minutes in the morning, they give her a bed bath and dress her in that time, sometimes they’ll also wash her hair, change her earrings, put her on the commode (with my assistance using the hoist), all sorts of little odds and ends. Even I can do it all inside that time-frame on the three days that she doesn’t have a carer.

I think you need to start making some noise.

Hi & welcome Jacqueline

If the carers are not being able to meet the current care plan. There needs to be a team meeting to discuss how it can be met. There maybe an issue in completing certain tasks within time scales. Mum possibly refusing carers help etc. What ever is happening carers need to log all details. If they are not being able to meet time frames etc.

It is not acceptable to leave these issues to you and Mum. You are both reliant of services meeting Mum’s care needs.

I would speak to Mum’s social worker and get them to arrange a meeting with you and the agency.

When did the care start.

Hi Jacqueline,

How long are the carers’ visits for? I suspect not long enough if they have to convince an elderly person with dementia to wash, put on clean clothes etc. Does the pharmacist put the tablets in a dossette box to make it clear to the carers what has to be taken and when? It sounds like time for a meeting with the care agency to voice your concerns.

There does come a point sadly, and I came to it with my own mum, that four visits a day will not be sufficient. It may be that it is time to consider looking at care homes so that you are prepared if and when the time comes.

Take care,