Mum wants to die at home if she gets coronavirus pneumonia

My mum is 90 and lives independently. She has COPD and has been staying at home and not seeing anyone, with online deliveries and some shopping help, plus hospital appointments.

She has said that she does not want to go to hospital if she gets coronavirus pneumonia. She also does not want me to catch it by going to care for her in this situation. I am 67 with mild COPD.

There seems to be nothing I can find about who will help in this situation. I am thinking of buying some kind of PPE so I can care for her without her worrying. If the NHS is overwhelmed who will help me provide palliative care? I can’t stop worrying about her.

Read the “BNHS Continuing Healthcare Framework” to tell you what could happen in normal circumstances.
In the current situation mum probably won’t have a choice.

Hi bowlingbun
Do you mean she won’t have the choice of staying at home but will be made to go to hospital?
Or that there won’t be any help available?
Thanks :slight_smile:

Sadly, there may not be a choice, it depends on staff availability.

It’s a really sad situation, this is something you need to keep to yourself, mum doesn’t need to know this.
Don’t promise mum you will make sure it happens, just be a bit vague, say something like “you know I always do my best for you mum” instead.

In case they are needed …subject to change under the new Coronavirus Bill :

CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare :

Palliative care :

What end of life care involves - NHS

Let us know what transpires.

It is vital for all readers to learn of the changes now in place under these essential services.

The news is very worrying. I’m trying to limit my exposure to it now, and concentrate on giving my house some much needed TLC instead.

Thank you, both of you.

Your welcome.

Hello Jessie

Thanks for sharing your situation on the Forum. I can understand that it must feel quite a dilemma when considering whether or not to visit your mum.

COPD is included on the list of underlying conditions identified by the Government (see link below) as placing people at higher risk of coronavirus. Whether or not you have received a letter from the NHS, I would therefore suggest contacting the Government’s dedicated helpline to register for further support. You can go to or call 0800 028 8327.

As well as bowlingbun and Bill’s suggestions, I would also recommend reading Carers UK’s coronavirus guidance through this link:

Our further support page also contains our responses to questions we have received from carers in relation to coronavirus.

Wishing you and your mum well