Moving house

finally got the keys to our new home. im so happy. wife is happy to but her Autism suffering with the change. lots of anxiety and panic setting in. we have a few weeks to complete the move so im looking for advice and ideas on how i can help reduce anxiety and help her feel more settled.

so far ive got;

Lists! i got a little note book just for the move so she can list and record window measurements and colours for the walls etc.

Getting her excited about decorating with me. we’ve chosen colours together and we’ve planned to paint together and have music playing. (shes built a decorating playlist.

A relaxation box. Because we will have bathtub in the new flat her mum gave her a bit of money so we went shopping and chose some new bubble bath, a new sponge, new shampoo and conditioner and i encouraged her to choose a scented candle she liked so that she can have a “Pamper Bubble bath”

any other practical ideas that ive missed?

The one piece of advice that I got given years ago and which I’ve followed with every move since is to have a separate box packed with kettle, tea bags/coffee, milk, mugs and biscuits. Then make sure its the last thing you take out of the old house and the first thing you take into the new one !

Plus I found it essential to label each box with it’s contents and which room it is to go into. Makes it much easier for anyone who is helping you with the move, especially if you also label the door if each room - I.e. bedroom / sitting room etc. Saves them having to keep asking you !

And don’t try and unpack/arrange everything in one go - take your time; moving house is tiring work.

Good Luck with the move when it happens :smiley:

choose your removal company carefully or they’ll pack the toilet paper and the box with the kettle etc hours before they finish.

Weve compared prices on lots of removal companys but they are all way out of our budget.

Then you’ll need every possible friend, neighbour, acquaintance and extended family to help you and allow much more time than you think. I don’t envy you.

Why did you decide to move? Not much point in planning colour schemes if you are unable to pay for the move!

we didnt “decide to move” our private rented flat is £1250 a month and we were struggling to afford it. been bidding on the council system for nearly 13 years, (between my wife and i. my wife 12 years and me 6) A few weeks ago we found that our private rented flat has a large rat infestation and with our baby in the house we finally got offered a council place. we have used our savings to buy new carpets (as there were none in the new flat and the council wont let us move in without them as its 2nd floor.) we’ve also had to buy an oven, washing machine, and all new clothes for our daughter as rats got into her drawers.

Its hardly been a choice. We simply don’t have enough money left to pay for a removal company. I don’t appreciate the tone of your response bowlingbun. You act like i brought this on myself. I let my wife choose a colour for the new bathroom from the sale bin in a hardware store and she paid £3 for the whole tin. i let her do that because with Autism any change is horrible so to be told you have rats, the rent increase, the loss of her support animal, the death of her grandfather, i thought asking for a few pounds for a tin of paint to make her feel a little tiny bit in control was hardly a hardship.

If you have nothing better to do that question “why” we are moving instead of offering advice i kindly ask that you dont bother replying in the future.

Your situation sounds appalling sound very stressed by it. £1250 a month for a place with rats! This country really has gone to the dogs. And the council insisting on carpets but not providing them. I’m shaking my head in dismay as I write. I’m sure BB (as we call her) didn’t mean to offend you but she clearly hit some sensitivities. She does tend to ask factual questions in order to give relevant practical information but I can understand that this can seem insensitive when you’re not used to her. You clearly have very good reasons to be moving.

I am sorry to hear about your recent losses. They take their toll too. I hope your new home marks a turning point and things start ti improve for you.

Would you like to tell us more about your situation? Don’t feel obliged if hou really only wanted advice on moving but you’re very welcome to get more involved. We all try to be supportive in our own way but sometimes we get it wrong unintentionally. Don’t forget moving house is meant to be one of the most stressful things you can do but it will be over soon and the stress should ease off at least a little.

Sorry. When I wrote this I thought you were a new member. Please ignore the bits that probably sound patronizing to you. They were intended for someone not used to the forum.

Hi David,
Until your last post you hadn’t told us anything about your dire housing situation.
My question was designed to find out more, in a few words (as at the time I didn’t have access to a keyboard, just my phone) and maybe find some solutions for you.
If you Google “help with removal costs” you will find various options available, the council might help, you might even be able to get a loan which you can repay in instalments.

“Why did you decide to move? Not much point in planning colour schemes if you are unable to pay for the move”

there is no way i can read that as anything other than rude and judgemental.

I should not have to explain every in and out of my life. At the end of the day my question was about how i can best prepare an autistic individual for a change as big as having a new home and having to pack all of their safety items into boxes.

our council offered no grants/loans/financial assistance at all.

We now have to move next tuesday and have this weekend to pack up a whole flat and downsize to something smaller, whilst trying to manage my wifes autism and cope with a one year old who is going mental at the packing and screams non stop (also she is teething and has an ear infection)

Plus my wife i undergoing testing as her heart rate now rests at above 80 and her finger and feet are almost always blue. but of course the drs have a waiting list for weeks. managed to get her in for a bloodtest the other day after fighting for it only for them not to be able to get any blood out of her arms. my wife was in tears and is now bruised up and down. they wont have her back for any more tests for 3 weeks as they have no appointments. her legs are weak most days and her joints all hurt. i dont know how we are going to walk home everyday now as the new flat is a 3.5 mile round trip to town and i dont drive. (she cant use buses or taxis)

Did you follow up the leads I gave you for financial help with moving?

Have you asked Social Services for help, as your wife has autism? I’m really concerned about your description of her legs.

Is there a “Volunteer Bureau” in your area. Where I live there are various organisations with volunteers to help people in need in the community.

Some splendid ideas here. And for the benefit of anyone planning a move, may I add a little?

When we last moved, the last thing on the van (possibly even after the box of light refreshment requisites) was the fridge-freezer. It was therefore first off and into the new house, and plugged in straight away. Hence there was no need to empty and defrost it. This of course only works for local moves.

As well as labelling boxes, also label furniture with its intended room. Before the move, we took measurements of the new house and produced scale drawings of the rooms and where the furniture would be placed. The removal firm greatly appreciated this; it made their job easier and they liked the feeling that they were setting up our new home rather than just moving things.

Yes, don’t expect to pack everything at once; it takes a few days. We usually start with the bedrooms; get the beds made up; you’ll be tired at the end of the day. Then the kitchen, though we make good use of take-away meals if there is any delay in getting it established.

Thanks for the tips! We are going to have to move next year at some point. Where do I find cardboard boxes?

Advertise on Freecycle.

I’m in the middle of a move and it’s stressful event for anyone.

I have found charity shops useful. Instead of moving all the furniture we are starting again with charity donated furniture. They don’t accept rubbish stuff often the stuff has hardly been used so is almost new. If you buy a few items you can negotiate a discount and can get it delivered so no need for furniture removals. Look on Facebook market place for deals.

A man with a van is often a cheaper way of moving depending on how far you are moving. If you can drive hire a van and if you can get help do the move yourself. If you have some friends get them to move you or help with the move.

Lists are useful as you can make a list of what needs doing and as it gets done can tick it off. You then have one less worry as you know the jobs done and your not worrying if it’s been done or not.

When sorting things out what to take with you and what not be ruthless. When you have been in a place for a while you tend to gather stuff and hoard it away thinking this could be useful some day and that day never comes. Think do you really need this or could it goto charity or is it just rubbish that you need to get rid of. Make 3 piles Charity, Rubbish and saving. Is it decent but you don’t really need it. Goes on charity pile. Is it just rubbish that no charity would touch as it’s dirty or in bad condition. Goes on rubbish pile and can be dumped either down tip or in a skip. You need it and use it all the time put in the saving pile. But look at the saving pile and think do you really need it? The more you get rid of the less you need to take and the less you need to pack and unpack.

Look at moving as a new start it’s going to be strange and stressful. But if your a carer you should be used to that as it’s like everyday. You have to adapt to new situations and life isn’t easy when your a carer.

Old thread, locked for usual reasons.