Mood swings/anger issues unpaid carer

I have been suffering from mental health issues, as the title says, mood swings and anger issues.

I was diagnosed with personality disorder, personality disorder and unpaid carer, very tricky.

I went through mental health services but never got anger management, they don’t do anger management apparently.

I said to the mental health lady, what happens if I lose my temper and assault someone.

Go to court, criminal record etc, she didn’t seem to care.

Struggling to control my temper on a day to day basis, been like that for years.

I made sure it was written down in a carers assessment so if anything happens
will take the letter to court and wave it in front of the judge.

I asked for anger management as a need, never got any.

Why can’t we access the help we need?

Isn’t it Burned Out Carer Syndrome??

Surely it’s NORMAL to have mood swings out of the utter frustration of having your whole life controlled by someone else, looking at the world through a window, always considering someone else’s needs at the expense of your own???

I suspect that there is nothing wrong that wouldn’t be immediately cured by a holiday, or giving up your caring duties?

Earlier this week, I had to fill in a satisfaction questionnaire sent by my son’s care provider.
With previous providers, I never returned these, because my reply would have ended up with M suffering even more.

With this latest survey, the first from the new provider, I realised that I was using Outstanding, and Very Good as answers to questions. My only comments were that I’d like them to be more adventurous with their activities, make sure the bikes were serviced, and keep the details of his electrical equipment and warrantees in the file provided.

At last I don’t have to worry, if he’s OK during Lockdown with this provider, he’s OK long term.
The effect of realising this has been amazing. I’ve only just got up, after the second lie in of the week until 10am, rather than prowling around the house whilst the rest of the world is asleep.

I just wish I could make things better for you.

To me, another carer, you are normal in an a situation demonstrating a normal response to caring too long.