Living with cancer

I’m Kim,53 years old ,new to the forum,married to my husband since 1989,though been together 30 years in October.Hes the love of my life.i am a support worker.i n a nursing home.i am at present off sick as finding nursing for cancer patients and caring for my husband at home too near the knuckle,and have been struggling emotionally.
My husband has been fighting secondary bowel cancer since 2016,.Hes a right strong guy,but now his health and mobility is deteriorating.HE has had enough of the gruelling chemo cycles,and is now at the stage where the consultant has put the ball in his court,whether to continue or not.
I find everyone stays away,when hes on his chemo,giving him space and days to heal.yet I’m struggling emotionally just cry to myself,and put this brave face on,like I do when I’m at work,…they dont see him when hes at his lowest,mentally and physically,and they dont understand how one minute hes ok,then hes not,and wants to sleep,
Ii was upset and spoke witht my family that hes depressed,and agitated and cant concentrate,and the answer was, well he will be depressed,you dont know what’s going on in his head,. …I have a good idea,I’m living with him.
That didnt help me emotionally,I felt guilty,as if I’d been complaining,it wasnt like that.
By joining this group I hope to chat ,and feel that I’m not on my own with my worries ,for today ,tmorro,and the future. :smiley: :slight_smile:

Hi Kim, welcome to the forum

I’m so sorry to hear about the situation with your husband, it sounds very difficult for you, Working and caring can be very draining, I hope joining the forum will make you feel less alone in your situation as lots of people on here will relate to it and offer support.

We’re running weekly online meet ups for carers if you’d like to join us. It’s very informal, just a chance to chat/listen to other people over a cup of tea, you can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. We also run online weekly share and learn sessions which are themed, usually with a guest speaker/leader. Do join in if you can, sign up is here:

Best wishes


Hi Kim,

Hope you are OK.

Although I can’t give you any specific advice, I used to be the carer for my Dad when he had cancer. It’s not easy at all. In fact, it was bloody awful. It almost felt like I had cancer too as living with someone who has it takes over your life. Thankfully at that point, both my Mum and brother were in OKish health and were able to help me emotionally.

Reach out to Marie Curie and MacMillan if you haven’t already. They are able to give a lot of advice and support re: the cancer side. When my Dad had it, the bi*ch consultant told us we shouldn’t contact them and should rather contact her. Fat load of help she was! My uncle had cancer and his daughters were saying the MacMillan nurses were their lifeline and were able to support them emotionally and physically.

Good luck pet.