Hi I am new to the forum, my name is Terry and I’m a carer for my partner who has pancreatic cancer and is a NET she is in the 6th year since diagnosis and it is getting very hard to care for her as I have a full time job working night. She can always get in touch with me and I would leave work and come home. Her son is also here of a night. I heard there is a coffee and chat on a Monday and I would love to join cos I think it would help me to actually talk to others carers and how they cope. Thank you. Terry
Terry, you are in a very difficult situation.
My brother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away within 6 months.
What support has been offered to you?
Is your wife aware of your struggle?
Somehow you must both accept that it is time for her to have some outside help.
I know it’s not what either of you want, but what you want and what you NEED are two very different things.
She used to go to the hospice at st Charles but they have closed it and it’s only recently that it has got harder because she has got ascites and is in hospital right now having a drain. She has an infection there and it is really making her poorly. For myself I think it would really help me to cope if there was a group where we could talk and I could understand more. I’m sorry for the loss of your brother and I know that couldn’t have been easy.
My brother was in Uruguay with his second wife when he had major surgery, never well enough to return to the UK. I had to empty and sell his house in a hurry. Incredibly difficult. Before your wife is discharged, tell them you are struggling and ask them to do an NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist Assessment for her. If she qualifies then she can have whatever help she needs either at home, or in a nursing home. Please look at this yourself when you get a moment.
Welcome to the forum, please come along to our week care for a cuppa meet ups, we hold them every Monday afternoon at 3pm they last for about an hour. Many of our members say they’ve found it really helpful and supportive and it’s nice to be able to take a little bit of time for yourself. There’s no pressure to share any more than you’re comfortable with. Join up details are here:
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advic … ne-meetups
looking forward to seeing you there
with best wishes