Little bit of guidance needed please

I work on self employed basis for 15 hours a week.

My stepfather is 86 and (awaiting diagnosis) is showing signs of dementia (I think this because I went through it with my Dad). He has the ability to recall how to do some things like washing himself etc) but is always confused and often can’t remember some basic things like taking tablets…

My mom is 85 and quite poorly herself with a few things but she is utterly exhausted from running around after him and she cannot take care of him on an ongoing basis.

Whilst we try to get to the bottom of what exactly is wrong etc, I’m having to make almost 45 mile round trips each day to provide care and support where I can - shopping, housework etc. You all know the score. This for me is also not sustainable as I currently have to work and have my own life (and pets) to run. My stepfather has 2 children who live over 600 miles away and have now not been down since last christmas and he has been ill most of this year - they are no support at all…

I am also providing part time care to my Aunt & Uncle who are both 88 and struggling to manage as well.

Despite rambling on, I think what I am trying to ask is should I apply for Carers Credit and would this stop us from being able to bring in a professional carer to look after my step father? Mom is quite capable of looking after herself on a day to day basis…

I hope that all makes sense as my head is all over the place at the minute with trying to keep on top of everything…

Welcome to the forum.

Your dad is entitled to Attendance Allowance, and probably exemption from Council Tax.
If he is claiming this, you may be entitled to Carers Allowance.

You cannot take responsibility for your Aunt and Uncle as well. That’s just too much for one person. What sort of things do they need help with?


You do not “have to” do anything for any of them, it’s time for you to step back as they are entitled to help from Social Services, and if dad had Attendance Allowance, that should cover the cost of someone doing the jobs your parents cannot manage.

I know, they only want you, but they can’t have you, how can you have any life of your own if you are always running around them?

Do they have over £46,000 between them? This is the rough cut off point for care being totally or fully funded by Social Services.

Hi Jaclyn, welcome to the forum. I’m sure a lot of people on here can relate to how you’re feeling and will offer support.

Have a look through our help and advice pages and contact our helpline with any questions you might have regarding any sort of benefit

Best wishes

Jane