Hello, Fellow Carers.
Thank you for being so honest in all your posts…and thank you to those responding so compassionately to those posting.
What a rare group Carers truly are.
I have put off writing this post, for many reasons.
The classic carer reason for not posting being I avoid burdening others with my own puzzle/problems, which is not very clever of me. Naturally, as we all do, I feel my problem is unique and cannot be resolved easily. So, here is why: I am american, though a resident of the UK over the course of my caring for Mum these last few years as she died.
Thus, the gist of my problems regards employment: I have the right to work on my spousal visa. I am a Master level licensed Nurse Practitioner in California. But my husband and I gave up everything in the states when we moved over here to care for Mum. To move back is way too costly now.
Sure, as a nurse with hospice, intensive care, and oncology experience sounds like, wow who wouldn’t hire her? However, even to get a volunteer position, all the applications require referees from the last year or two that are not friends and preferably, a former employer. In the medical field in the states, supervisors, managers, and charge nurses come and go. I’ve no idea how to find them. We are old now too, my former managers. (They are probably caring for family members full-time too! by now). I hope they are happily retired.
Meanwhile, I hardly met anyone one while caring for Mum. We arrived, moved in, and Mum immediately began falling apart, almost like she was just waiting on us. We never had time to pause long enough for a long perspective on what we were doing.
Mum was bedridden the last 18 months. I provided and oversaw every aspect of her care to prevent bed sores and discomforts of any kind. I was a bit hard to be around! as I can become single-minded when it comes to taking care of vulnerable people.
So, I, too, by the way, have just turned 60 years of age. I’ve got a lot of attitude for my age, no doubt! Yet, the bod is definitely on its way out. I need and want to stay busy, active, and utilising my brains. Giving is a thing I do…
but cannot even get to volunteer locally…much less get a job.
Any ideas would be GREATLY appreciated. I figure there are slim chances any of you can help with my particular situation. But please know, your kindness is so huge, even if you can only commiserate.
I am respectfully yours in like kind. Let me know how I may be of service to you.