Hi. I’m 30 years old, married this year to my husband who has fibromyalgia. We were together a year before moving in and then lived together for a year before his health issues. I had counselling before his diagnosis and after, and came to a good place of acceptance but lately it’s been hard.
I’m very much in “feel sorry for myself” mode the last few months. I hate this horrible invisible condition. I hate that we can’t do normal things like go out on a date or go on holiday. I hate that our time is determined by his energy and pain levels. I hate that I work full time, then come home and do all the housework and cooking and shopping. I hate that he fears having children because “what can he give to a child” I hate that my boyfriend who never had anxiety is now an anxious husband.
I’ve suffered with anxiety for many years and he was the one who got me out of my shell, he pushed me and encouraged me and helped me and now I do the same for him.
I feel like no one understands. I feel like I have no one to talk to in my darkest hours when I’m crying and grieving the loss of our life. I’m signed up to a local carers community but all the groups are ran during the week when I work. I feel very alone a lot of the time.
I don’t know what the purpose of my post was, I think just to get it off my chest, and hope that maybe someone has some thoughts on how to make this grieving feeling leave.
Thanks for reading.