It's so lonely

My husband has alzheimers, recently, he has started falling asleep every time he sits down, but won’t have it he’s sleeping. If I try to wake him It’s tho he just snaps out of it & talks as tho he’s been awake the whole time. He’s worse in the evening as he’s tottaly confused when he wakes up. I don’t know whether to waken him or just leave him & go along with him saying he hadn’t been asleep. He sleeps at night, tho is quite restless & stops breathing sometimes, gulps, then breathes normally. Does any else have this with their lived ones?

Hi I care for my dad who has similar habits, he sleeps alot, i kinda realised best to let him sleep, it worries me as sometimes i think will he wake up thats the human instinct i guess, when he is awake fortunately he is ok and fine but he could sleep most of the day and spend half the night awake, its a mix and match as for the being lonely yes it goes with the carers work, i have no benefits either so care for the love of it that is my dad equals friend best mate and super hero
take care and i hope this has helped some

Hi Jean,
I’d let him snooze and use the time to have some “me” time - what do you enjoy doing?

Your topic heading is “It’s so lonely,” do you get a chance to go out without him, (if he can’t be left, do you have a sitter/befriender to stay with him?) Have you and he attended social events recently or had any friends around? Some areas have Memory Cafe’s where carers and carees can meet up with others going through the same thing.

Don’t for get you can always talk to us - your new cyber friends! Some of us have the equivalent to a “chat over the garden fence” on Roll Call - Its been a bit quiet lately - you’d be very welcome.


My wife’s done that for years, even before she was disabled,(and slightly barking). She goes into complete and major denial about it too if challenged.

TV is on, “What are you watching?” The News. "The News finished 30 minutes ago dear, you were asleep !

I don’t bother waking her unless it’s necessary.

I could have written that. I never challenge my wife now if she has been asleep.
Watching TV she is sleeping within 5 minutes.

I just go with the flow, that’s the best thing to do, folks.

Yes Jean my husband sleeps a lot. I do try to use the time to read and just relax.I would let him sleep frankly as his body may well need the rest.

Yes it is lonely being a carer. This Forum is great and very supportive.

I go along with whatever my husband says. He confabulates. No point arguing, as it just frustrates him and upsets me. He is very poorly in hospital, and not saying very much when awake.Wish he was confabulating!
It is very lonely, watching someone with dementia decline. Lonely being a carer whatever the circumstances. Not easy to settle and relax, but really its a must.

That’s exactly what my wife does ( I had to look up the precise definition), I’ll remember that one.

My Mother did it too,(she had fairly well advanced dementia) we used to call it Romancing when she did it - there was a difference, in that she made up fairly specific lies about our past (me and my big sister) when we were kids. As an example:- I had Rheumatic Fever when I was ten - not according to my medical records I didn’t, it was Flu!