Its like being the only person on the planet

My name is Sean i am looking after my partner Trisha she is 56 i am 57 she has fibromyalga and possible M.S if we could get an appointment for someone to see he but it matters not. I have been looking after her now for 5 years she moved into my flat about 6 months ago. I do everything heath appointments everything except washing which she can do. I have had 2 heart attacks and suffer with M.E and clinical depretion. I havent had a moment off unless asleep for nearly 6 months i am on my knees and myself and Trisha have talked about a way out for us both. The issue here is i being a Chronic pain sufferer have accsess to large amounts of morphine and fentanly and know how to end both our lives. I dont get a penny for my 24 hour service from the state not one penny this is due to the fact i am disabled and get disablement allowance and you cant get both benifits. this is so unfair.
I am on my last legs and cannot see a light we need a holiday i need rest bight but there it is. A small glimps into my world.

Hi Sean,

Caring is tough especially when you have health problems yourself.

Does your GP know you are caring and how desperately you need a break?

Has Trish had a Needs assessment and you a Carers assessment?

If you are considering overdosing on the morphine please ring the Samaritans to talk things through.

I also suggest you contact the Carers Uk helpline:

Our telephone Carers UK Helpline service is available Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm on 0808 808 7777 (including bank holidays, with the exception of Easter Monday). Alternatively, you can contact our Helpline service by emailing at any time.

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Hi Sean, I hear you, we hear you.

You’re reaching out, and whilst everything is hellish you’ve shared a glimpse into your world.

Each of us has our own story, nightmare, hellish times and right now yours sounds unbearable.

I would ask you to reach out again, to a listening service and for support - just as @Melly1 has suggested
In this Mind website page there are crisis hotlines and additional support

Helplines and listening services

Find contact details for mental health helplines and listening services. Read about how these services could help if you are struggling.

Sean, you’ve openly shared how much pain you’re suffering and your access to large amounts of morphine & fentanyl. Please talk to someone, a friend, your GP or one of the listening services we’ve highlighted.

Obviously, we can’t know your whole situation. However, as you said you’re struggling to cope it’s clear you need tangible everyday support. It IS unfair, and I feel your pain. Before you consider taking any action, please reach out to talk to people who are trained to help you, and others who have been where you are right now.
You are NOT alone. We may not be in exactly the same situation, or circumstances but you’re now in a forum where we’ve each suffered through our own turbulent emotional no-sleep rollercoasters.

I’m sending prayers and empathy, and hope that the listening services or other support services help you.

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Dear Sean

You are not alone. Please please go and see your GP and tell them you are at breaking point. They have a Duty of Care, and stress your feelings when you phone as you should get a quick appointment. Also if you have a local Carers group they may be able to offer advice and help and maybe expedite some support?

I agree with phoning the Samaritans to talk things through. You are NOT alone. Many of us have had similar feelings at times, but we have come through it, and you will do so too. You really do sound at breaking point and I can totally understand why.

You have taken the first steps to getting help by posting here. I echo Victoria please please reach out to those who are trained to help.

Please update us as I am very worried about you and I am sure others are too on here.


Hi Sean

I echo what the others have said - YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS.

PLEASE phone your GP and tell the Receptionist how you feel - they will get you urgent help and you will not be ignored.

Asking for help is not a sign of weakness or failure - it is simply admitting you have done everything YOU can and need someone else to take part of the load so you can take a breath.

Things are never quite as bad as they seem at the time. That’s probably the last thing you want to hear right now, but take it from someone who knows - there is some light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to get someone to help you see that light.

Best wishes to you and Trisha.

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Hi Sean, I too have had very black times, we all have our breaking point. I’ve met mine.
You have reached what I call “Clapped Out Carer” stage, you’ve done too much for too long without enough help. Was it a mistake to move your partner in with you? Now you have nowhere to escape to away from caring. What would you like most of all now. More help at your flat, or your girlfriend to move out again?

Hello Sean,

Thank you for posting in our online forum Carers Connect about the challenges you are experiencing at the moment. It sounds like this has been a really difficult time for you. In addition to the supportive responses you have received in Carers Connect, we’ve also sent you an email with some further information which we hope you will find helpful.

We hope you can access additional support soon Sean.

With best wishes,

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My GP is young and not really interested unless he can right a script he is not good with practical matters and does not like his job as my surgery is very busy. He also does not like expert patients which both my partner and I are.

Sometimes it helps to write a list of everything you are struggling with, then shuffle it into order of help needed, or annoyance. If you do this, for your eyes only and then share the top two things with us, maybe we can help. It can be money, dirty laundry, mobility issues, whatever you like. If the GP is new, maybe he needs a bit of “further training”. If so, then talk to the Practice Manager, or email him/her. This has worked for me in relation to other issues.

Agree with BB. Do you have to see this GP? I usually take a notebook in when I go into the Surgery with my husband. I also think it is worth contacting the Surgery Manager, and explaining how desperate you feel and that your GP does not fully understand. Please consider contacting your local Support for Carers. They may have ideas how to progress.