Irritability and MS


I am new here and am just after some advice from other people caring for someone with MS.

My husband (we met 11 years ago and have been married 8 years) has RRMS and mostly experiences the crushing fatigue and migraines but also has had the MS Hug which was very unpleasant and worrying for all concerned. He also has been diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression, which he has probably had since he was diagnosed with MS some 30+ years ago but has only started anti-depressants in the last 6 months.

The reason for my post is that he has grown increasingly irritable over the last 3 years, which I find very hard to deal with because I find it so upsetting. How do you develop a tougher skin with this, so that it doesn’t feel so personal? I have tried to talk to him about it numerous times (which makes it feel like a battle), but he just slips back into it. I guess in the current lockdown, he is feeling as frustrated as everyonelse and that has made it worse, but he seldom/never talks about how he is feeling, unless it is in response to me asking him, as this is how I try to understand why he is suddenly snapping at me.

Please understand, I appreciate that my lot is not as difficult as many others, and I am fortunate that he is fully mobile and still working fulltime etc. I would just really appreciate some help/advice from others who completely understand what I am dealing with.

Thank you for reading this.


Hi Tamsin, welcome to the forum.

How old is your husband? What sort of work does he do?
Do you think work is getting too much for him, too much pressure?

If you love him enough to care for him, then in return, he should love and respect you too.
It’s not your fault he has this disease and he must not take it out on you.
Don’t tolerate it, turn round and walk out of the room until he can be civil again.