I’m in an unknown situation.

I lived with my best friend Ian for almost 25 years together, nothing sexual, best friends, we have and had pets together and all the same friends and most of the same hobbies and helped each other financially and with shopping and travel etc

In 2018 he was diagnosed with M.E chronic fatigue, he asked if I would register as his carer as I always enjoyed his company so I thought about it and in feb 2019 I agreed as I was helping him do more things than usual. He also that year diagnosed with Rhumatoid Arthritis and in a first floor flat made him breathless and I helped sort his medicine his food etc as carers do.

On 13 th May he wouldn’t wake up, I woke him a few times that day but said he was tired and stayed in bed after a couple of bad days of pain, then I had to call ambulance perform cpr and the ambulance tried for 15 mins and failed. I’ve lost my best friend, my family I always called him brother.

I called his aunt and she said she’s not next of kin (true) and can’t afford any it’s not her, so I have applied for social fund and a go fund me where all our friends donated most of the funeral costs, so it’s all organised but she’s threatening me with the police for theft asking for money I used it for the funeral.

Next because I’m not blood, nor in a relationship his estate, which was joint everything we shared for the house, for 25 years TVs computers dvds etc, well under £5000 only thing truly his is his car which is 12plus years old.

His bank accounts etc are still open as police took his phone on night he died because I’m not related by blood so I have no info from that and it’ll be password etc but I’ll need to close them.

How do you get a Confirmation so I can deal with his car and bank etc.l and is it expensive it’s such a mess, being his carer, living with him for 25 years as his best friend, like a marriage counts as nothing as he was estranged from his family also they never visited or talked to him.

I’m still so heartbroken the post mortum isn’t until 1st June, what can I do, I’ll be moving away also as can’t afford the rent for a 2 bedroom flat

Hello Wolf

Sorry for your loss and condolences. What a stressful & difficult situation. I have tried a google search but all searches are for couples/partners unmarried. Not friends living together before anything can happen. You would need copies of the death certificate. Although it’s legal to get copies of death birth and marriage certificates. I think you would not be able to use them in any official capacity. I guess you need to speak to Citizens Advice. No certificates will be issued until after the post mortem.

People requesting certificates have to provide purposes / reason/s for a copy. And the registrar determine it’s release.

I would suggest you don’t remove any property of your friends just yet. If you have keep clear details of dates and/or receipts.

Is the property social housing association and/or council. As they should be able to provide you assistance. Even if it’s private the land lord should be assisting you.

There is always help it’s knowing where to get the advice.

If you are in receipt of carers allowance. It’s important to inform them straight away.

I’m being brushed aside like I’m no one after 25 years.

See Ian who passed binned his receipts for everything after he checked it worked as did I and why we shared everything we bought together or jointly which is why I need a Confirmation, I think it’s £600 eeek

I was his next of kin on dr and hospital, I was reading one site that said if you were a close friend and can prove it I can apply and because I organised and paid for the funeral the coronor will speak to me after the post mortum with the death certificate through the funeral parlour.

The property is pvt landlord through a housing association and they have applied for a fun to cover rent for a couple of months but living here is killing me.

Yes they have stopped my carers and waiting to get universal credit again.

Oh, my God, it’s so awful! Please accept my condolences. I had to face the same thing.

Old thread. Locked.