My husband has had parkinsons for almost 5 years. He has got worse over the padt 6 months. He has been in hospital for 3 weeks aftet a fall walking to the shops for a paper. It seems he will need care when he comes home. He is retired i am a TA in a primary school i love my job but looks like i am going to have to give it up to look after him. I feel lost as this was not expected as he coped very well and was independent before his fall. I know if it was the other way round he would look after me in a heartbeat. But being his full time carer frightens me and i feel very dad about the whole thing. Anyone else in the same boat.
I posted just after you.
Definitely feeling similar over here. I’m not sure where you are but I know packages of care are usually quite good after hospital discharge for about 3 months.
One piece of advice I can offer is don’t give up your job, it keeps you going more than you think!
Hi, welcome to the Forum. I’m really sorry to hear about your husband’s recent fall and needing extra support when he comes home from hospital. CarersUK have a factsheet about carers assessments for carers. Carer's assessment | Carers UK
This may be useful to find out the support that may be available for you as your caring role changes.
welcome to the forum. I agree with Kerry, don’t give up your job - if you get too exhausted juggling, consider requesting to go part time. Take a look at the info re leaving hospital, posted by Lize. I’m wondering if your hubby would be considered for a rehab residential placement between leaving hospital and coming home. Explain you won’t be at home during the day as you will be at work and that you are worried about him not being mobile enough etc to come home just yet. If he doesn’t qualify then accept help from the rehab team at home, make sure they know you will be at work (I know its the school hols, but before you need care and support in place before you back to school.
Welcome from me too and sorry to hear about your husband. Scary times but beware the ‘knee jerk‘ reaction. So many carers have given up work to care for a spouse, parent, sibling etc and have bitterly regretted that decision when their world has shrunk to constant caring, friends fallen away and the relationship changed beyond recognition.
Have a word with your head teacher and explain what’s happening. There may be the possibility that if full time work becomes too much that they would consider a job share so you could perhaps work mornings/afternoons/2 ½ days. Don’t give notice until you have tried all possibilities. Don’t ‘burn your bridges’.
I’m sure your husband would look after you if the circumstances were reversed and you were the one in need of care. However consider, if that was the case would you ask your husband to give up an enjoyable job to care for you? Also consider what the loss of your salary would mean to you both right now.
Take it slowly Gwenda. Solve one problem at a time, beginning with what should happen when he leaves hospital in the way of care provided. What benefits he will be entitled to. How you can manage to see his care is provided for without doing it all yourself. There are lots of very knowledgeable and experienced people on here who will be pleased to answer your questions and offer advice about all aspects of providing care for a loved husband while keeping happy and healthy yourself.
Welcome to the forum. How old is your husband?
DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB. You’ll resent it forever. Social Services should do a Needs Assessment for your husband and a Carers Assessment for you, to organise support for you as a carer who wants to continue working.