Husband has all the signs of dementia

We are just at the beginning of the long journey my husband has all the signs of dementia and the G.P has referred my husband to memory clinic but we have been waiting 9 weeks still waiting for appointment is this the normal thing? He get very angry so times with me for no reson and I get frightened I told the dr she said she would chase appointment up but that was weeks ago is this how it always goes with dementia From Kathleen

Hello Kathleen :slight_smile:

Every case of dementia is different, some patients become aggressive, others become very passive - no two patients present exactly the same way. Your husband probably gets angry because he’s frightened - he realises something is not quite right but can’t figure out what is wrong. But, of course, being a man he can’t admit to that fear.

I nursed my Mum through Alzheimer’s and used to say that it must like being lost in a strange country where you don’t know anyone and you don’t know the language - I think we’d all be scared under those circumstances.

A good place to start researching information is the Alzheimers Society’s website - it’s full of really useful information on all aspects of the illness with lots of suggestions for handling the various stages.

(Despite the name The Alzheimer’s Society covers all the different types of dementia not just Alzheimer’s.)

Hi Kathleen welcome to the forum
I’m assuming your husband has been tested for urinary tract infections. In the elderly (if your husband is in that category) it mimics dementia.
I feel you will have to be more pushy to get a diagnosis for your husband sadly. Its nor right, or fair that you feel frightened of any aggressive behaviour he shows, even though not his fault. The quicker you get an answer, the better. Its horrible, and scary, and have been on the journey myself for a very long time. Not knowing was worse, second guessing and praying for it to be anything but…the dreaded D word. Have you family or support from anyone?

Hi Kathleen

I agree with Susieq that teh Alzheimers’s Society are extremely helpful and I have copied a pasted a few useful links for you.

This is a list of all the fact sheets or dowloads you can access.

Assessment process

Changes in behaviour

Aggressive behaviour

They also have an extremely helpful forum which discussses all types of dementia called Talking point and here is a link to the forum, well worth joining. I can’t recomend it enough.

Hi Kathleen. How old is your husband? While you are waiting for the memory test check your husband’s blood pressure is normal.
You can test your husband’s memory by watching tv together and then asking him questions about the programne. Ask him to say the months of the year backwards starting from December, November, October … Plus you could bring in four or five objects from the kitchen and after he has looked at them for a minute take one away (without him watching) and find out if he can remember the item you took away.
When your husband gets angry with you try different strategies to calm him down eg leave the room, put music on, say something like 'I don’t like your tone of voice’etc.

I don’t want to disappoint you but when he’s had the memory test and then a brain scan there’s not much they can do. My dad had dementia and Alzheimer’s but he was told that the medication isn’t much help. He was 91 years old.

Diagnosis is vital to get the exemption from Council Tax, Attendance Allowance, extra pension and support.
Doctors very often don’t understand why a formal diagnosis asap is important!

That is a very good point, BB.
Also very recently on the news and newspapers were some intrguing info regarding the benefits of eating mushrooms also on the internet. It says ‘Mushrooms may reduce the risk of mild brain decline. Eating mushrooms more than twice a week could prevent memory and language problems occuring in the over 60’s’.
I’m certainly giving it a try!!

What a wonderful excuse to eat more mushrooms!

Sorry to hear that Kathleen - good advice from others. Don’t be afraid to chase the GP, that does sound like a long wait.

Diagnosis was helpful for us as a family as Mum now has AA and I exempt from council tax. We also have carers in to make sure she has a proper meal on days we can’t be there. She is on medication and her dementia hasn’t got any worse in a year. We have a strong routine in place which has helped with her memory and behaviour. She also attended a support group for those with dementia, which she hated, but my sister and I found useful! I also find it easier knowing what is wrong with her rather than feeling annoyed at her behaviour.

On the negative side she found her diagnosis really hard to cope with. But is finding it easier now.

Good luck.


I hate mushrooms so I shall forget about them ! :laughing:

Albert- Many thanks to regarding the health benefits of eating mushrooms.