early stages

My husband is in the early stages of dementia - still undiagnosed. He had a memory test 18 months ago when I first started noticing changes. It came back normal, which isn’t surprising, given that some days are much better than others and the person who tested him saw him on a good day.
Others don’t see any change in him, which makes me feel quite lonely, and questioning myself. On good days, he knows there is a significant change and we can talk about it easily. But on bad days he can be in denial. Recently he has been quite depressed, which he has never been before.
He agreed to see the GP again, but we just had a joint telephone consultation due to COVID and the GP suggested we wait until the surgery had returned to normal before contacting him again. I have no idea how long this will be.
Today he turned the gas on on the cooker when he meant to turn on the oven. I was out at the time and returned to find the kitchen smelling strongly of gas. He was unaware of the smell.
I love him so much. I hate what is happening to him. I don’t want to disrespect him and take things like cooking, driving etc away from him, but now I am so worried about safety.
Just reaching out for some encouragement and support.

Hi Jeannie & welcome

You know your husband start keeping a diary of events. Don’t be put off my the g.p. if your husband agrees ask for a referral for an assessment to dementia services.

Can you give your ages.

Thank you for responding. The diary is a great idea. I am 69 and he is 82.
Most support seems to be specifically Alzheimer’s, however, my husband does not yet have a diagnosis, although we suspect vascular as he has had at least one TIA.

You and your husband can have a needs assessment done…


Does you husband have attendance allowance. He does not need a diagnosis to apply. He just needs help from another person to quality.

does this look familier…

Vascular dementia can start suddenly or come on slowly over time.
Symptoms include:
slowness of thought
difficulty with planning and understanding
problems with concentration
mood, personality or behavioural changes
feeling disoriented and confused
difficulty walking and keeping balance
symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease, such as problems with memory and language (many people with vascular dementia also have Alzheimer’s)
These problems can make daily activities increasingly difficult and someone with the condition may eventually be unable to look after themselves.

Carers group near me…

He should stop driving!