How to find emotional support - so sad to see partner losing his intellect and becoming confused

Thank you Alun - your post is spot on, so nice to hear someone understands exactly how I feel. My halo has definitely slipped a few times!

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Hi BB. I think the nearest to that is the guide for the various disability benefits, which asks those questions. When I worked in a carers centre, I used an adapted version of a checklist produced by the “Valuing People” Team, for use with carers who had learning disabilities (who were looking after their parents). It took up five pages and was pretty detailed. I’ve tried attaching it here but no idea if it will work. You’ll need Word or something capable of reading a Word file. If that’s a problem, there’s a link to a free “Office” software package I’ve used for years at home. It’s a bit more basic than the Microsoft package but it does the job for most things.
carers assessment preparation checklist (2).doc (124.5 KB)

FreeOffice for Windows, Mac and Linux

Marian& Alun
My halo slipped at times too. My husband was not in an easy mood at the home once, and he told me to f…off. He never swore like that at me before dementia. I actually said the same back. Walked out, in tears, had a walk then went back and he actually asked me if I felt better now!! Those who know me will understand that that word would never have left my lips. I can cuss but a couple of words I don’t use.

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Thanks Charles. A tick box chart like this is so much more sensible than the vague questions usually asked! Does the new forum have a “sticky” facility. If not, we need one and I’d vote this top of the list!!

No worries Marian, me time is important, but sharing those deep feelings is so difficult when you have " lost" the one person you always confided in. Never be ashamed or guilty of how you feel, they are normal emotions for what you are going through. Finding a way to do that is not so simple. Always around, take care

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To Alun,
Spot on, I will try to remember your sentence : ‘never be ashamed or guilty of how you feel, they are normal emotions for what you are going through’. Thank you.

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