Thank you Bowlingbun. You are right, I have very little me time. I need time to rest and remember who I am. I have been changed by the last few years. However I do think it’s useful to remind yourself of other people’s difficulties to put your own in context. For example, reading about you being disabled and still being a carer for two disabled members of your family is food for thought. I wish you well.
Thank you, I could see that happening eventually. Have a great Bank Holiday!
Thank you Teddybear!
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@Ned you are welcome, you have a great Bank Holiday And try and find a little time for yourself. Take care
That was some time ago now. After five years of struggling to walk I had two knee replacements and got back my mobility to a great extent. After a truly terrible time, two houses to empty and 2 deaths, I’ve gradually made a new life for myself. I have not seen my younger brother, nephews or nieces since mum’s funeral 10 years ago. Counselling helped me find a way forward. I usually take 2 holidays a year, after Christmas I take my sewing machine to a cottage in Devon for a week of peace, then in September I have 2 weeks in a hotel for single travellers in Crete. Thanks to an inheritance I can now afford to look after myself better and am often mistaken for being a lot younger than I really am! Friends are the family we choose for ourselves.
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It is great to read how despite these obstacles, you have rebuilt your life. I hope I can.
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@Ned so can you Ned , stay positive ,have hope and tell yourself everyday i can do this. Have a nice bank holiday .
For years I was the family “fixer”. If all else fails, ring me, but at times it got too much. I actually signed up for a 4 year part time degree course, one day a week with study at home, just to have an excuse for not always being so available! Whilst my life is now fairly routine, I’ve done all sorts of mad crazy things too. I met my husband at 16, married at 19, went to work in Australia when I was 22, where I learned to ride a powerful motor bike in skimpy green shorts and a midriff top. My husband’s favourite outfit I think! At 24 we bought a cottage mortgage free, it needed masses of work and I was pregnant, but it had room at the bottom of the garden for the family steam engines! My husband bought a lorry and low loader to take the steam engines to shows, and I accidentally became the nation’s expert on a particular make of lorry. Although I no longer run the national club, I still get phone calls for help and advice on a regular basis. My eldest son knows that I want to be remember for all the mad crazy things I’ve done.
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@bowlingbun , I get what your saying. It was the same with me “Get John to fix things”. A right pain in the neck most of the time. As for “How do you keep going?” A lot of the time it’s a case of having to. Especially true when you have little to no support.
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I got into the habit of just ploughing on no matter what. Don’t even think about it most of the time - until things settle for a few minutes/hours - and then it hits me what Iv’e just gone through. This thought helps, sometimes:
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@Charlesh47 , HA. That describes what been a carer is all about. It’s a nicely formed nutshell.
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Once in a while I’d just down tools and say I was going to have a bath. Everyone knew not to disturb me!
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@bowlingbun , I sometimes use that excuse too. Also, when I open my front door, I keep the chain on the door. And, when I have my gaming headset or VR headset in use, some people know to “Don’t Bother Me”. (The Beatles.)