Hi, I'm new to this Chat

I’m from Birmingham and frankly life is just one big ordeal for me at times. I’m just reaching out at the moment in between my daily grind. Some days are tough, some days not so tough. I also have constant worry, which doesn’t help.

Hi Cheryl
This forum is for those who care for loved ones, if you are struggling providing care please call the Carers UK helpline

Carers UK information and support
Our telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (advice@carersuk.org)

If you are not a carer, you might find other organisation such as MIND helpful

Cheryl, welcome to the forum.
If you tell us a bit more about the person you care for, age, disability, what you struggle with most, we may be able to give some ideas.

Welcome aboard, Cheryl!

Hello and welcome Cheryl!

I hope today is going better for you Cheryl.
The support is here for caring issues as is the Carers UK helpline.

Hi, I’ve only just read these messages. I say it’s tough because I care for my dad who is 88 and I have two boys are almost 11 and 14 to take care of. My eldest has recently been diagnosed with autism (level 1) and Mental health. He will get angry over the slightest thing and cause damage inside of our home and also to the inside of my car where he will constantly punch things like walls and doors. He rips my car seats, pulls handles off doors, empties drink bottles over the floor and seats and says it’s all my fault. I’ve struggled for years and he seemed to be settling down better at school last year and doing well, before that I had to put up with so much stress for several years dealing with the school, having meetings etc… I have days where everything goes fine for while but then my son will get upset over something and it escalates. Even me speaking will set him off sometimes. He struggles to make friends and has no outlet. I’m a single parent, and I am the carer of my elderly dad too who is currently in hospital, the second time this year. I have slight health issues myself and I often feel fatigued through out the day. I often have sleepless nights because of my son not sleeping well, or because i’m worrying over something.

I hate to say it but it is time for a care home. I put my grandmother into a care home a few years ago because while she was cognitively fine, my mental health/cognitive skills were being reduced due to the stress of caring for her. She had a lot of physical impairments and I could not cope. My first bit of advice is to go to visit all local care homes and make some brief summary notes. Look at the official reports and also try to chat to staff. Get a feel for what the care home is truly like. Read beyond the lines of the report to determine if it is a option or not. Good luck. Talk to the social worker again.

life does sound tough and caring for three people single handedly is just too much.

Does you Dad have a care package in place? Does he live in his own home?

The teenage years are tough for neurotypical youngsters but factor in autism and/or mental health and/or a learning disability and it takes the challenges to them and us to a whole new level. Does your older son do any physical activities? He really sounds like he needs an outlet for all that pent up frustration, and to channel his aggression. It could improve his sleep (and therefore yours, too).

Has he had a sensory OT assessment - this would help him identify triggers, ways to manage them and avoid them becoming overwhelming.

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A OT evaluation can help.