Hello fellow carers,
This is my first post and I have to say although I am extremely computer literate, navigating to here seems overly complicated 
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I am a carer for my husband who has had several strokes (the latest at New Year followed by a TIA on May Day) and he has deteriorated quite rapidly in the last few months. I asked for a referral to the Memory Clinic to try to get a formal diagnosis for his quite severe cognitive decline, but they won’t see him because he’s had a stroke in the last 12 months, so although I know he is showing all the signs for vascular dementia, no one will confirm it, so I feel very isolated and would love to here form others who are in similar situations.
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Hi @Katiej. Welcome to the forum. My Mum is 99, severely sight impaired, hard of hearing and has cognitive decline. At her age, we have decided not to go for a formal assessment for dementia. Last year when our relationship was at breaking point after she decided at the last minute not to go to a care home, having been so happy when she had visited there 2 weeks before, I contacted her GP. He was brilliant. The conclusion Mum is capable of making her own choices, but they might not necessarily be the sensible ones!
I only see her twice a week, and she is just about managing living alone. There are times, especially when we can’t get out, that I find time with her really waring and I find my patience severely tested. Her cognitive decline is not her fault, but nor is it mine!
well done for joining our community. So many of us have found the experience really helps.
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Regardless of a formal diagnosis, if your husband now has a severe mental impairment he should be entitled to disability benefits and possibly Council Tax Exemption. How old are you and your husband?
Have you had a Carers Assessment from Social Services?
Has your husband had a Needs Assessment?
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@Katiej Welcome from me too. It is not always easy to get a Dementia diagnosis. All I can suggest is that you keep detailed notes. My husband had an ‘acute on chronic brain heamatoma’ back in 2013 and I was told that they could not do Dementia tests for at least a year! We are left trying to keep them safe. Do you get any support? Can he be left for short periods? It might be worth writing to his GP with examples of changes in behavior?