Hi there. My husband has had multiple TIAs and strokes, 4 last year and the last one being in June last year. He is doing really well physically but I have noticed a mental deterioration. I had a phone consultation with the GP who said it sounds like Vascular Dimentia. The only way I can get this definitively confirmed is to take him to a memory clinic once the shut down is over. I am worried that if I do that he will become depressed so am wondering if we should just carry on as we are until things become more difficult. I would really appreciate comments.
Hi Kate,
And welcome to the Forum. A difficult one. My mum had vascular dementia (and Alzheimers). I never told her that we were going to a memory clinic - we were going to the GP for a check-up and, as a result of that, she had a scan which confirmed vascular dementia.
On the balance, I think it worth doing as it may be that your husband could benefit from medication to slow down the progress of the disease. Also, a diagnosis can open up areas of funding and support that you may benefit from, eg reduction in council tax, carers support groups etc.
Only you can really decide but I would suggest telling your husband the least possible. The happier he is, the happier you will be.
Good luck,
Anne
Sorry, forgot to add that if you don’t have Power of Attorney for him, now is the time to get it before too late.
Hi Kate, welcome to the forum.
Can I ask how old you and your husband are?
My husband is 72 and I am 65 so both retired.
I have arranged powers of attorney thank goodness although still awaiting the medical P of A to be registered with the Office of the Public Guardian. I presume the delay is because of the lock down.
Hello Kate
Your post reminds me so much of my late husband and myself. He had tia’s and strokes, then vascular dementia. I taught myself to go along with most of the things he said. Confabulatated a great deal. I realised that what he was saying was what he truly believed at that moment.Did everything I could to keep him mentally happy. Not always easy! My advice is to take each day as it comes. Again not always easy.
I am setting up power of attorney for my daughter’s, so they have it for me. ( Had to go down the court of protection route for hubby!) It’s taking an age, assuming it’s the lockdown situation causing delay. Glad you have managed to get your husband to agree.
Hello and welcome!
I recommend going ahead with the clinic appointment. Is there a way to make the appointment or not and then tell her? It seems like she could potentially benefit from the appointment. But do not lie as that makes things more difficult for you. Best of luck! Ask your general practiitioner to refer her.
Thanks so much for all the comments and advice. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in this and to speak to people who understand.