Hi , been caring for friend for 1 year but not yet carer

Hi , First post , been reading some great helpful info on site.

For the last year i have been caring for a good friend ,
she was a victim of a violent sexual assault by a stranger , up until that point she was self employed , happy , out going after the attack her life was upside down , unable to leave home , very anxious,nightmares,suicidal thoughts, been diagnosed with Ptsd , binge eating , lost confidence , she has no family (except teen daughter) because of medication she finds it hard to concentrate and struggles with dealing with many tasks.
From day 1 i have helped her any way i can , taking her to medical appointments , helping sort out benefits , shopping , just sitting talking , going out for walks, picking up prescriptions, trying to build her confidence back up , we were best friends before the attack so she rely relies on me .

After a year of caring i have felt the stress , but i will fight on , at the moment i usually spend about 4 days of the week caring but my biggest issue is travelling costs i am struggling with , after reading through the help pages i think i will apply for carers allowance ( i am currently self employed but business very quiet and plan to close) i just need to try and find out if me claiming carers allowance will affect my friends benefits in any way (if thats the case then i will not claim as she is struggling financially ) , she currently is on pip ,esa (she does not get SDP) and has a non dependant living with her (daughter) i dont think me being on carers allowance will affect housing benefits , pip, or esa but i am worried will affect council tax and not sure where to ask , many thanks

Hi Northernstar … welcome to the canteen.

Your caring situation is not that alien to us albeit one which will draw a lot of sympathy.

Purely on the benefits front , a potential minefield to say the very least.

Universal Credit … already rolled out on your manor ?

Post code checker :


Onlinre benefits checker … twofold … great for " What if " scenarios and ensuring that all current benefits and allowances out there are being claimed :


I would recommend the calculator as a first step … immediate questions may arise … especially when crunching numbers on the base of a joint relationship … effects on benefits if others are being claimed.

UC … could be the joker in the pack as some old money benefits tend to disappear.

Your friend … PIP + ESA … various flavours ( Ideally , let us know which ) … less abled ( Disabled ) and seeking work ?

Daughter … nothing mentioned … assume working ?

Bear in mind a possible change of circumstances which will need reporting to all agencies … especially the DWP.

Just a few thoughts to get you started … what the calculator produces will most probably determine the next step.

Always have the online expertise of the Carers UK Advice Team as an option … contact details follow … best by email :


I was very unhappy to see that you wouldn’t claim Carers Allowance if it affected her, as she is “struggling financially”. You must value yourself. There is a saying “don’t burn to keep others warm”. For a YEAR you have been caring for her for nothing. Has she had a Needs Assessment from Social Services? Have you had a Carers Assessment from SS? These are the first steps. Once assessed as needing help, she has the option of Direct Payments which can be used to PAY you for the care you provide.

May I ask what happened to the perpetrator? Was he caught and sent to trial? Even if not, your friend MAY be elgible for victim compensation (ie, payment by the state for what she has been through) and she should certainly check this out, especially is she is now suffering financial hardship as a consequence of the attack.

How much therapy is she getting? She should be getting a LOT of PTSD support now - and possibly her daughter as well, who clearly has also been adversely affected by the attack on her mum.

I’ve news for you, you have been a carer all along. It’s just you haven’t claimed Carers Allowance!

Thanks so much for the information , yes daughter working 19yr old , universal credit not rolled out yet, pip daily living standard and pip mobility standard rate , thanks i will pop it through calculator ,

Your welcome.

At least one bullet dodged … Universal Credit … for now.

Now for that calculator …