Hi all I’m new to this forum and thought it might help a little with my mental health to talk to others in the same boat. I care for my 92 year old mum. She is still living independently but needs help with appointment, tablets, financials, shopping etc. Her partner now lives in a home as he became too much for my mum to handle when he started falling over. Up to that point I was caring for them both with no help from his own daughters (but that is a whole other issue!). So now i take her to and from the care home 3 times a week for her to sit with him for 3 hours each time. It is a 16 mile round trip each time. All of this I really don’t mind as she is my mum and I would do anything for her, but recently she is becoming quite demanding and want’s everything doing now! Can anyone relate to this?
Mum is now classed as “very elderly” and her needs will be increasing rapidly, as she pays the price for living so long. However you don’t have to do everything, however much she wants you and only you!
Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Does mum own or rent her home? Do you live with her?
Does mum have over £16,000 in savings? Just Yes/No.
I know these questions may look nosey, but various benefits etc depend on these things. I will always believe the pressure of caring for our brain damaged sons and all four disabled parents, all nearby. Was a major factor in my husbands fatal heart attack.
It’s difficult dealing with stubborn elderly parents we love, but they forget that we are also getting older! Mum needs “someone” to take her on visits. Is she reluctant to use a bus or taxi, for example.
Is her home making life as easy as possible, tumble dryer and dishwasher, or is she resisting change?