Been a member for a few months but have not posted before…
4 years ago, my wife became quite ill with what was later diagnosed (it took 6 months!) with severe Colitis. Coupled with this, her previously diagnosed Parkinsons became much worse and she became bed ridden and I provided full-time care for her day and night for over 3 years. Sadly she gave up the fight last April 11th and she died in my arms.
Whilst all this was happening, my 50 year old Son who lived on his own, suffered a Stroke a couple of months earlier, so I was back and forth helping him also.
His Stroke left him with partial sight issues, but mainly his short term memory has somehow become damaged. This affects his daily living, and ability to conduct any task that requires complex thoughts.
At that time, he had a Girlfriend who insisted that she was fine looking after him. It was a very stressful time, and early April, she visited her parents, and then sent a text to my Son telling him she was NOT coming back!!!
…Since my Son was showing signs of an inability to cope with daily tasks alone and also manage his finances, after my wife died I moved him in with me!
I now care for him.
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Hi @TeddlesDee Welcome back!
Sounds as if you and your son have had a very rough few years, one way or another. A few of us here have experience of multiple and “serial” caring. Are you getting any help from outside at all, or in contact with support services?
I was registered as a Carer with the local authority during my time with my Wife, but seems that I fell between two stools as their registration is annual (???), and since it was related to my wife, and she died, they could not do anything until this year, BONKERS I know!
Apart from that, TBH I have just ploughed ahead.. dealing with Grief and all this with my Son has rather left me a lesser person I guess… I’m managing… but my health has declined a bit and is not perhaps as good as it should be. Various ailments seem to have found me this year, but I do go see the GP, …however the NHS is a bit of a mess these days, with (In my personal experience) referals, diagnosis, and treatment, a bit of a lottery these days. Delays, and the fact that GPs (I really feel for them!) are silently fed up with the rule changes that keep happening, in that many simple treatment routines they are not allowed to do any more so cant do anything like as much as they used to. Treatments/ referrals are now frequently farmed off to private Health Companies/Agencies, …with (IMO) very poor service outcomes for Patients. I have spoken directly to other Patients I bump into and they all, without exception agree!
I gotta stop moaning… sorry!
Moving in with you is only a stop gap solution, as you are older than he is. Is anyone supporting you to find him a new suitable long term home?
Where was he living before his illness?
Is he claiming everything he’s entitled to?
Do you have formal Power of Attorney?
Are you his DWP appointee?