I am sinking

My mother had a stroke, a major one in 2014.I was engaged at the time and we put the wedding back for a year. I have since got married. I have been looking after my mother for approximately five years along with my dad. My marriage ended abruptly in 2019 when it came apparent that my wife is violent. Then if that wasn’t bad enough in March 2020 my dad had a major heart attack and passed away. Then we have Covid 19. We were unable to hold a full funeral for my dad. this very much leaves me in a full time caring role alone. I am more than capable of looking after my mum but I have been doing it alone with no respite or any time off since March, it is very very lonely.

Hi Steven

Condolences for the loss of your father.

You should not be doing this alone and you are not alone. You just need to know where to get support and help.



The above links look very similar one is for you mother and one for you.


You do not need to care for you mother on you on.

Sorry to hear you also had an unhappy ending to your marriage. Have you had or sort any help with this experience.

Please can I ask your ages. This help to signpost you to services that will be most of use.

Hi Steven, welcome to the forum. You have had a terrible few years, and have reached the stage of needing time to recharge your batteries, they are pretty well flat by the sound of it. How old is mum. How much support does she need?
Do you live with mum?
Does she own or rent her house?

Hello and thank you for the reply. It’s much appreciated sometimes it helps to vent. I am 46 and so is my estranged wife.

Hello and thank you for the reply. It’s much appreciated sometimes it helps to vent. I am 46 and so is my estranged wife.

Hi I Live just across the way from my mum. She is in constant telephone contact with me if she needs me. Telephone can be difficult because the stroke left her with speech difficulties. Yeah she does own the house. She is 82. I get her out of bed in the morning, bathroom,Wash assist her with walking with a frame if she’s up to it. I pretty much do everything for her. Thank you for your message.

Hello and thank you for your message. I am 46 years old and so is my estranged wife.

Did mum get outside help before Lockdown? It would help both of you if she had some outside female help, some company for her and a chance for you to take a break.
Has she ever had an occupational therapy assessment to help with the phone issue?
Does she have a Lifeline pendant?
What would help you most at the moment?

Yeah she had a physiotherapist twice a week and a speech therapist once a fortnight. Now with this virus it’s been necessary to suspend that. I do try to get her out in the car sometimes but there is a worry about her contracting this virus. She does have a mobile phone with an SOS button on it which puts her directly in contact with me. But I must admit being on watch all the time can be very tiring.

Thank you very much that is very good of you. I am 46 my mum is 82