I have been caring for my father in law for nearly 4 years now. He is late 90’s and has age related issues and is also now recovering from Covid19. That has left him weaker and in need of me doing almost all of his personal care as well as the usual. We (hubby and I) moved in with him as company to start with, this was not easy on any of us and took a while for us all to adjust but we did and things mostly tick along nicely. I love Dad, he is kind and funny and sometimes stubborn (that makes two of us ) we have clashed a few times as most do but we have always sorted them out (mainly to do with his personal hygiene). I joined this forum now as I am finding myself missing the old me, I do not go out much (not just because of lockdown) I no longer craft as much as I would like and the worry that goes along with caring is starting to effect me. I have health issues of my own but I do manage them fairly well. I just feel a bit overwhelmed at times. If you have got this far thank you. I am looking forward to chatting to you, learning about the caring roll and maybe help others too xx
Hi Craftie Beader, welcome to the forum
I think many people will relate to how you feel, the stress and loss of self are common feelings despite the positive and loving relationship you have with the person you’re looking after. The pandemic is also making it harder to take time for yourself or socialise.
We’re running weekly online meet ups for carers which are very popular and you’d be welcome to join us. They are a good way to take a short break and chat to other people in a similar situation, there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to. Sign up is here:
Hi Craftie Beader,
welcome to the forum.
Your name suggests that although you have less time for craft, crafting is part of your identity. We have some creative people on the forum - writers, potters, crotcheters (I don’t think that’s a word! ) to name a few. How about having a set time each day when you set aside time to do some crafting e.g. after lunch or whenever works for you.
You might enjoy visiting Roll Call the forum equivalent of a chat over the garden fence https://www.carersuk.org/forum/social-area/members-corner/february-2021-roll-call-42927 Not that we all have much to talk about at the moment…
Caring is hard in the best of times, but this pandemic has made it a lot harder.
Does your Dad have any support from paid care workers - this would help with the personal hygiene issue and take some of the pressure off you.
Welcome to the forum.
I love dressmaking, own about 15 machines, long story, but life often gets in the way of my sewing!
It’s not only dad getting older, but you too. I’m almost 69, and really, really miss the energy of my younger days.
Have you thought about getting some help in the home?
Has dad every had a Social Services Needs Assessment, and you, a Carers Assessment?
Is your home really streamlined to minimise the work that needs doing, disability friendly bathroom, tumble dryer, dishwasher?
Is dad claiming Attendance Allowance?