Hello I'm Jan and I'm new to this forum

Hello my name is Jan and I’m 42 yrs old full time carer for both my elderly parents since my mum had a stroke in 2017.
I had to leave work due to MH issues and I’m not claiming any benefits at the moment because I would find it difficult to find a job and look after my parents at the same time. I am however, doing 5 hrs a week unpaid volunteer work because my MH is a bit better now with the local MH team.
I am looking for some advice really on how to claim Carer’s allowance because when I ask my parents particularly my mum how much she gets in regards to benefits she says she gets £85 per week but is very confused. In fact both of them are really and I’m starting to get frustrated in dealing with them. I just feel like I can’t cope most days with looking after them. I do the cooking, cleaning, and shopping. My mum get’s carers in to help with her basic hygiene needs 4 times a day and a physio-therapist in twice a week which I help with her exercises. My dad is still mostly mobile (bad knee and arthritis) but is progressively getting worse with his memory problems. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Jan, welcome to the forum.

Your top priority must be to sort out Power of Attorney for both parents as quickly as possible, Once they are said to be lacking mental capacity you have to go down the Court of Protection route, far more tedious.

In the mean time, apply to become their DWP “Appointee”, so you can manage their benefits for them. Both of them may be entitled to Attendance Allowance, assuming they are both pensioners?

You can support them to apply for Attendance Allowance, be sure to fill in the form yourself and get them to sign it.

Do you live with them?
Do they own or rent their house?
Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do they have over £46,000 between them? (Yes/No).
Who arranged the carers?

Sorry, I know this sounds like an interrogation, but the answers are really important.

Hi bowlingbun,

Thank you very much for your reply and to answer your questions I do live with them. They own their own house of which I will get 60% majority in their will when they pass.

I have 2 brothers - Brother A lives in Australia with his family.
Brother B lives approx. 40 mins from me with his own 4 sons ( I have serious trust issues with this brother as he has stolen from us in the past and uses my parents for his own needs).

I have 4 half sisters
Sister A lives in Australia with her own family
Sister B lives far outside of the area I live and has very little contact with me in regards to my dad.
Sister C lives over 10 miles away and is currently not speaking to us due to family issues
Sister D is roughly 1hr away from me but has her own issues with very limited mobility and is an alcoholic with severe health issues of her own. I also have my own issues with her due to her abusive nature as well.

My 3 half brothers
HB A lives 5 mins away from me works full time and he only sees us once/twice or month because he has his own life really.

HB B lives outside the area roughly 1hr and half away and has a family too although he has said I can call him whenever I want he can’t get here right away because of how far away he lives from me.
Same for HB C as well, he has his own family and lives even further away from us in the Midlands.

All my relatives I do not know how much money they earn, my HB B & C I can imagine he earns more than £46,000 but like I said they have their own homes, families and lives really.

The carers were arranged by my mum and dad at the beginning when my mum first came out of hospital in April of 2018. It is a private firm and I do not know if my parents pay for it or not but I do not think so. I would need to ask them about this ASAP.

I hope this reply is helpful, many thanks and kind regards, Jan.

Hi Jan

Welcome to the Forum, I hope you are finding it interesting so far.

Just wanted to highlight that we are currently running Forum Focus, an opportunity for Forum users to hear more about Carers UK’s work.

Find all the posts here: https://www.carersuk.org/forum/48