Hello, I’m new to the community so thought I would just post my story. My wife has suffered from psychosis for over two years now. Things reached a nadir in summer 2019 when she had to be sectioned. Despite refusing to accept she was ill, she eventually agreed to take medication in order to be released from hospital.
Things gradually improved when she was on her meds, despite her not enjoying the side effects, and she gradually became her real self again. But she still refused to accept she was ill and came off her meds again at a time when the doctor had initially planned to cut the dosage in half.
The symptoms returned again within a week or so, sending myself and our seven year old daughter back into the depths of despair.
Her psychosis has needed police intervention three times since then, once for a minor assault on me and twice for threatening a neighbour during an explosive row. Yet she has managed to hide her symptoms when assessed by police psychiatrists so each time she has just been sent home for me to deal with.
I’ve found this hard to deal with and can’t take the prospect of dealing with this long term.
Since the last time police were called, in October, it has been quiet and there have been no violent rows.
But we still clash regularly, mainly due to disagreements on how to raise our daughter. When in psychosis my wife just let’s our daughter do anything she wants and spoils her with sweets, presents, cakes. This has led to weight gain for our daughter and whenever I try to make her more healthy it leads to a row.
This is mainly because my wife has fallen out with my parents and has a delusion they deprived me of sugar as a kid and are now trying to control everything from afar again.
I find myself getting quite low at times. It’s tough because I want to look after my wife and get her better but she refuses any help. She is also type 2 diabetic but refuses to accept this too, regularly eating cakes and sweets herself.
It’s hard from my wife as she is from Thailand and doesn’t have any family here in the UK. We have been married 14 years but now merely co-exist rather than having a loving relationship. It’s hard for me to have feelings for her after her condition has made life so tough for our whole family.
If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, I would love to hear how you cope with things.
HI Kevin,
I don’t have experience of caring for someone with mental health issues, but didn’t want to leave your post unanswered.
Other members on this forum dothough. Reading their posts I realise that looking after and living with someone with mental health issues is very hard.
It isn’t helpful that the police are releasing her back into your care and saying she is mentally ok.
Are you daughter’s school aware of the situation? They may have some leverage as it is potentially a safeguarding matter re your daughter and this may put pressure on your wife to co-operate with treatment. Such a shame she didn’t try the half dose before stopping the medication altogether.
Melly1
There should be an emergency mental health team in your area, normally a 24 hour telephone number, in times of crisis a team can come out assess and give treatment help and support.
It is very common that the person stops taking the tablets as they feel better ( they are better because of the tablets) and try stop the tablets especially with the bad side effects.
Someone should be making sure that your wife takes the tablets, then these episodes won’t occur.
Does the GP know fully what is going on? the asaults and threatening behaviour, the GP and mental health services have a duty of care towards you and your wife, make sure harm does not occur.
What if there was a very nasty incident?
All your wifes issues need managing, the diabetes, uncontrolled blood sugar can lead to a whole range of issues, sight loss, strokes and organ damage, there should be a diabetes nurse who can advise.
Your wife doesn’t want help but needs help, she thinks she is alright but she is not and will just end up being sectioned again.
This is also very unfair on your daughter, growing up when mum is ill, you should be getting a lot more help and support from the mental health services.
Coping it is very difficult, Mind and Rethink can help if you have one in your area, they both have national telephone support lines.
Hi Kevin & welcome
Sorry to hear all the things you are going through. And not knowing what the future holds. Have you every contacted MIND UK who could I sure help. Make suggestions or point you in the right direction.
As has been mentioned how much are your daughter’s school aware of her home life. School’s can also be a source of great help. They can help to coordinate with other services. There should be a school’s safe guarding meeting. Sometimes that statement can sound alarmist but it all positive. As school can help monitor your daughters well being. And this should help to hopefully give you better reassurance.