Full time caring/social life

Hello.would love to know how other feel being a full time Carer.should we have the right to a normal social life?.. is it selfish wanting one?. me personally friends/partner seem to disappear due to my circumstances ,do others feel like me (Ian).why do I feel like a leaper at times.why do friends/partner not understand how I feel. Ian 53

Hi Ian. I am 58 and a full time carer for my mum. It is essential that you look after yourself properly. You need to be well so that you can care for your partner properly. It is very important that you eat regularly. And it is very important that you have connections/friends to talk to on a regular basis.
I recently did a CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy course) because I was depressed. One of the most important facts I learnt from doing the course is that your lifestyle has to be BALANCED. If you are working too much and have little or nothing else going on in your life then that is bad for your health and can make you ill .
So for the last few weeks I have been trying to add some social activities into my week (not easy with all the social distancing that’s going on). And yes - my family do think I’m being selfish, so I am trying to get them to understand that I need to meet up with others regularly to stop me from becoming depressed again.

Thanks Karen for your support I look after my father93.friends/ex partner seem to drift away (I understand) not easy to start again(tried online dating)not easy meeting new people my age(even worse with the Covid virus).i suppose I’ve given up and excepted my life as a carer(caught between a rock and a hard place) ian

It’s important that you do things that make you happy. I go to aerobic dance classes which I really enjoy. Afterwards a small group of us go across the road for a coffee and a chat. That really helps me.
Before the Covid virus I was going to other social groups but they have halted now. When places open again think about joining a social club or see what’s on at the local Community Centre or Leisure Centre.
Carers UK provide social gatherings for carers (when they can re open again.)
For now you could try phoning/texting a friend - they’ll be pleased to hear from you again.
If anyone says anything derogatory about you going out just tell them that everyone deserves a break.

Thanks ian