Hi Everyone
I’m relatively new on here…not had the time to post before.
My mum has just been diagnosed with Frontal Lobe dementia and I was wondering if anyone else
is dealing with this sort of dementia. My journey to this stage has been really hard as mum is self
funding and you can feel that no one wants to help you in your care decisions.I have had to demand
assessments she is entitled to and her doctor is really reluctant to get involved….that’s if you get the
chance to talk to them. I’m being bullied by my brother who thinks her care is down to me and won’t help
not even to take on any of the tasks related to her finances and house maintenance. My other brother lives
in Thailand and can’t travel back but offers no support and won’t get involved in talking to his brother.
Just feeling sad and quite overwhelmed at times. Suffering from anxiety and bouts of depression.
Hi Francoise,
Both my brothers took the same attitude as yours. All to familiar story I’m afraid, but it they don’t or won’t get involved, then that means all the decisions concerning mum are yours to make, forget about them. To help us give best advice, can you give us a bit more information about your situation?
Do you have Power of Attorney?
How old is mum?
How old are you?
Is mum claiming Attendance Allowance?
Is she claiming exemption from Council Tax due to Severe Mental Impairment?
Does she own or rent her home?
Do you have a home of your own, or live with mum full time?
Now the most important one. Is caring getting too much for you? It’s OK to say yes, or no.
Hi Bowlingbun
Thank you for your prompt reply and for your support.
I am 60 years old and mum is 86.
I found out about attendance allowance last year and applied for it. She gets roughly
£89 per week [of the top of my head]
All three of us have POA for both health and finances.
I didn’t know about the possible council tax exemption.
Mum own her house and I live with my husband 11 miles away. We both work full time.
Because she is double incontinence she has carers coming in 4 times a day to clean
her, get her dressed, cook her meals and put her to bed. So I do all her shopping, finances, medication,
house and garden maintenance, health issues and managing the carers. My husband helps when he can but he’s only just lost his Dad and run his own business.
Living 11 miles away is just far enough to make a visit 1 hour minimum…I have back problems, suffer from Polysistic Ovary Syndrome, low thyroid function, anxiety and depression.I love my work and don’t want to give up…
She doesn’t want to move out of her house….we have discussed that she may well need a full time live in carer at some point but she’s already saying no to that. Because of her type of dementia her personality is already changing….this type of dementia is hereditary and I found out that I should consider getting genetically tested….I think my grandmother had the same but in her time it wasn’t a diagnosis……so a lot to take in
If mum is already having carers 4 times a day, her dementia is clearly serious.
There is no point in asking her about things like live in carers, her reasoning is now seriously flawed, and she probably has no understanding of how much you are doing for her.
Are you aware of NHS Continuing Healthcare, especially the Grogan case?
If mum lives alone, she is now totally exempt from Council Tax as dementia counts as ever mental impairment. Even better, the claim can be backdated!
It’s really important now to get others to reduce your workload. When I was disabled in a car crash, my son insisted that all the borders in the garden were flattened. Really sad to see all the plants go, I put them on Free cycle, but so much easier to have a plain flat lawn.